


The way you keep the world at bay for me

by ravenandrose13



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-08-31 22:58:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8597065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenandrose13/pseuds/ravenandrose13
Summary: An alternate take on the season 3 finale. Emma traveled to another time and brought someone else back with her. Someone that puts Regina in grave danger. And suddenly Emma’s world is shattering.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is new for me…I’ve never written something that dark plus it is a very talk heavy fic I suppose and my main focus was on the characters, instead of an adventure or something.  
> It’s kind of inspired by the song Stand by you by Marlisa. If that’s not a SwanQueen song I don’t know what is.  
> Oh and I’m not all that nice to Snow, just so you know.  
> Let me know what you guys think! :)  
> Mwah!

“Regina? Regina, where are you?”

Emma stumbled into the foyer and was greeted by silence. She quickly scanned her surroundings.

She could see carpets that were out of place, one of Regina’s heels lying in the middle of the entrée.

She pulled out her gun, moving forward only to stop a few steps later. Her heart pounded in her chest.

There was blood on the floor.

Not much but definitely more than a paper cut.

She looked in the den – empty.

The kitchen- deserted.

Maybe in the study?

Emma carefully moved, peeked around the doorframe and froze.

The whole room was a mess. Books and papers were scattered all over the room, the leather couch Regina had sat on during their first conversation was toppled over. Shards of various vases crumbled under Emma’s tentative steps.

“Oh God.”

The Sherriff breathed when her eyes finally fell on the still form of her son’s mother.

Regina lay, only clad in her ripped bra and panties, in the remains of what was once her glass coffee table. Bruises were already forming on olive skin, intermitted by nasty cuts that varied in depth and size.

Emma knelt beside the brunette hoping, wishing, _praying_ for her to still be alive. She almost cried in relief when she found her breathing.

“Regina? Can you hear me?” The blonde gently touched the other woman’s shoulder.

Slowly eyelids fluttered open to reveal deep chocolate eyes widening in shock. Regina tried to scramble away, but failed to even support her weight on her hands and knees.

The blonde held up her hands.

“Shhh, it’s me, Emma. Just Emma. It’s okay, you are safe.”

That seemed to relax the panicked woman.

“Emma?” she asked, her voice hoarse and shaking.

The blonde gave her a sad smile.

“Yeah, it’s me. You called me, remember?”

“I-I did-I…” She shuddered, wrapping her hands self-consciously around her exposed midsection.

“Alright. Let’s get you out of here and to the hospital.”

At the last word, Regina panicked again.

“No! No hospital! I-I’m f-fine.”

“Regina you are clearly hurt, you need to be checked out.”

“No. It’s alright. I can – I can deal with it.”

She looked down at her wrist that still wore that darn leather cuff.

Emma followed her gaze and sucked in a breath.

“Shall I take it off?”

Regina seemed to contemplate for a long while.

“No.” she finally decided. “I don’t think my body needs some kind of magical shock right now.”

She swallowed hard, allowing her mind for the first time to wander to her injuries. She was in pain, she realized. And she was afraid.

“No hospital, please; you have to promise me”

Emma cringed, but one look into pleading, desperate brown eyes that were so full of pain and Emma found herself nodding.

“Okay, no hospital.”

Regina let out a relieved breath.

“But we still need to treat your wounds and get you out of here.”

The brunette nodded slightly.

“Is it okay if I touch you?” The blonde asked, not wanting to scare the shaken woman again.

“Yes.” Came the soft reply.

Emma didn’t mess around but instead lifted Regina up bridal style from the ground and carried her out of the study, up the stairs and into her master bedroom. She needed a little magical boost of strength Regina had ironically taught her a few weeks prior.

It had been their last magic lesson before Emma’s involuntarily trip to the past that had changed everything and nothing at the same time:

Her mother had squealed in delight and Regina, Regina had said nothing at all. She stood rooted to the spot, all color drained from her face, showing no emotion but the storm in her eyes was evident. Emma had apologized. She truly hadn’t known. And once again, Regina had turned against her. Or away from her, which admittedly had hurt more.

And now Emma was the first person on her mind after getting hurt. And the blonde was glad that she was. That Regina hadn’t pulled away for good.

She gently lowered the older woman to sit on her bed, draping a blanket over her still shaking shoulders. Emma went to the en suite bathroom were she knew Regina kept a first aid kit.

Henry had told her after Emma had hurt herself while playing baseball in the backyard with him one day.

When she returned she found that Regina had stopped shaking and was now staring blankly at the floor in front of her, not moving a single muscle.

“Okay, I’m gonna look at your injuries now, is that okay?”

She gently asked while kneeling in front of Regina. The other woman nodded numbly but didn’t otherwise move.

Emma licked her lips, not knowing what to say.

Something traumatic had obviously happened to her friend. Someone beat her up and ripped her clothes off, that much she gathered from the scene downstairs. She didn’t want to think about what else Regina may have endured, but she needed to know.

Needed to know so she could track them down and punish them for what they did to the mayor. Needed to know so she could help her… friend.

“Regina?” She waited until finally brown eyes looked into green ones.

“What happened?”

Regina broke eye contact and proceeded to stare on the floor.

“Who did this to you?”

The brunette shook her head.

“You can tell me.”

“No I can’t” came the whispered reply.

“Why not?”

“No one would believe me anyway. No one would do anything against him, not before and not now.”

Emma frowned in confusion.

“Regina, what do you mean with ‘before’?”

But Regina ignored her question.

“I don’t – want t-to press charges” she murmured.

“No one says you have to.”

But Emma really wanted her to. She needed to get that son of a bitch. She had sworn herself in Neverland: never again. Never again would someone hurt her family. Henry _and_ Regina.

“I am sorry I didn’t believe you with the whole Archie thing, Regina. But I believed you didn’t cast the second curse. I can promise you, I believe in you now.” She made a pause before continuing

“Who hurt you, Regina?”

The answer was so soft Emma nearly missed it.

“Leopold.”  


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> This one is going to be an entire flashback chapter and I kind of made King Leopold a psychopath…Oops :P
> 
> Your thoughts are always appreciated!
> 
> Mwah!
> 
> Trigger warning for this chapter specifically:
> 
> Graphic depiction of violence, Abuse, attempted rape, mention of marital rape.

… A while earlier…

 

There was a knock on the door.

Regina stood up from her desk and went to the foyer.

No one visited her anymore.

Well, Henry did, but he had a key and Emma - Miss Swan didn't come here anymore after…

Maybe it was the Un-Charmings, trying to make amends on behalf of their daughter, which was unlikely.

Or worse, Robin Hood. How could she have ever been o dumb and let herself get talked into a relationship based on gem dust? She had liked the idea Hood represented more than the man himself. Maybe she didn't deserve a happy ending after all, maybe she would always stay the villain in everybody's minds.

She shook her head.

Maybe it was time she forgave Miss Swan. She really hadn't known, the rational part of Regina knew. But it had hurt nonetheless. Of all the people she thought would cause her pain, Emma hadn't been one of them. She was the one (apart from Henry) to always be at her side.

'That's why betrayal hurts so much, it never comes from our enemies.' A voice in her head supplied unhelpfully.

Upon reaching the door, Regina had made a decision. She would pick Henry up today from the blonde's apartment and talk to Emma.

Still half in thought she opened the door and froze.

Leopold stood outside.

King Leopold, father of Snow White and her (supposedly) late husband.

The only other time she had seen him was on the day Emma had brought him back and into Granny's diner…

* * *

" _Daddy?" Snow gasped as she saw who had entered the diner behind her daughter._

_The man laughed, "Snow!"_

_And he opened his arms wide as Snow leaped into them, tears of joy streaming down her face._

_Regina on the other hand couldn't move, couldn't even speak. She stood completely frozen on the spot, her eyes trained on the laughing man less than twenty feet away from her._

_She watched as Snow held out her hand for David who joined the pair and the king patted him on the shoulder after shaking his hand._

_Then it happened._

_The king saw her._

_She shivered as his now cold gaze set on her before he plastered on a giant smile and to Regina's horror moved towards her._

" _My Queen." He said, his hands squeezing her upper arms so hard she knew it'd leave marks. He bent down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. His smell invaded her every pore and it was all too much. She was sure she'd break apart every second now, but then Snow of all people unknowingly rescued her._

" _Daddy, I want you to formally meet someone: This is Emma, my daughter."_

_When she could finally will her feet to move again she slipped out the back door a minute later._

* * *

After that she had almost never left the house apart from work, which she magically transported herself to, to avoid running into him.

Everyone in town was worried she'd go all Evil Queen on his ass and kill him (again).

She couldn't though. She was trying to be a hero and heroes didn't kill. Plus she wasn't about to let him ruin her life (again).

She had made it clear however that she didn't wantHenry to live under the same roof as him. So Emma took the much-needed opportunity and Snow's good mood to finally move out and get her own little apartment, halfway between her parents' and Regina's.

Despite her magic Regina felt little in his presence. No, not little - vulnerable.

Her right hand gripped the doorknob harder.

"What do you want?" she finally pressed out between clenched teeth.

"Is that any way to address your husband, the king, Regina?" he asked, his sultry, syrupy sweet grin making her want to hurl.

She didn't answer, just stared at him, not sure if she wanted to run or kill him.

"You see," he started, his hands still in his jacket pockets,

"My darling daughter told me about her life. Her life ruined by the Evil Queen, her own step mother."

Regina seethed. How dare he! She made a step towards him, her demeanor screaming murder.

"I was never her mother by choice!" she spat.

"Oh yes you were. It just wasn't your choice to make"

He hissed back at her and faster than lighting pulled something out of his pockets, slapping it on Regina's left wrist. She knew instantly what it was.

This time she could actually feel the magic leaving her body, leaving her drained.

She stumbled backwards, trying to close the door but he was faster.

Leopold pushed her inside the house with such force she fell to the floor before he closed the door behind him and locked it.

**Click.**

The sound that still haunted Regina in her dreams.

**Click.**

And for a moment Regina was 18 again and alone and scared and locked in large chambers in a large castle with a man twice her age and size with no escape.

He kicks her with his heavy boots hard in the stomach and she is back in the presence.

"Snow also told me you that had _magic_ all along. And how you _killed_ me."

He spat as he bent over her.

"Sorry not sorry" She breathed, grinning up at him coldly.

Some habits did die hard.

He yanked her up by her hair then, making her yelp and threw her on the few stairs between the entrance and the foyer.

It hurt and she had to bite her lip to stifle a cry. She vaguely registered that she lost her shoes and is now barefoot.

'Come on, think' she pressed herself.

Cellphone.

Her cellphone was lying on her desk in the study. She had to get it somehow and call Emma. Emma would come for her. She knew that like she knew that water was wet.

"What happened, bitch? Cat got your tongue?"

Leopold mocked, pulling her up by the arm only to slap her in the face. Regina felt her lip split and could taste blood. He still held her in a vice grip.

"I was always nothing but kind to you and this is how you repay me?!"

He screamed at her.

"Answer to your king!"

Leopold slapped her again so hard her head snapped to the side.

"You are a pathetic old man, you have not one kingly bone in your body." Regina snarled and this time she was prepared when he threw her against the near wall.

After a second of disorientation she began running towards her study, not looking back once.

She could feel him chasing her anyways.

She was almost at her desk when she felt him behind her.

Regina grabbed her cellphone and then he was there, his fist connecting hard with her cheekbone. The phone flew out of her hand, skidded over the floor and stopped just under one of her bookcases.

Her only chance. Gone.

"You filthy whore, you think you can escape? You will pay for what you did! And I will greatly enjoy hearing you scream."

"Please, please, don't." she cried out, tears streaming down her face. But just like before he didn't listen now.

He yanked her up by the collar of her shirt and with one quick move ripped it open. She heard the buttons pattering to the ground. His hands roughly grabbed her breasts before fumbling with the clasp of her bra as Regina tried to break free from his grasp. She heard fabric tearing and felt herself slip through his grip.

She stumbled and the king wasted no time and shoved her towards her couch, making her yelp and hit the sofa so hard it toppled over and she fell to the ground again on her stomach.

"I thought I taught you not to defy your king!"

And he kicked her again, this time between her legs and she screamed out in pain.

"Didn't I? Huh, didn't I teach you!?"

Every word was followed with a kick between her legs. She tried to scramble away, but he placed his foot on her lower back, with almost all of his weight behind it.

She cried out again but he just laughed.

"See now that's the proper place for you. _Beneath me_."

Leopold bent down and removed his foot only to turn her around so she was lying on her back.

His hand moved to her pants and half unbuttoned half ripped them off of her, ignoring her whimpers. He leant over her, his weight almost crushing her ribs. She couldn't breathe.

"That brings back fond memories now doesn't it, wife?" He grabbed her already bruised sex roughly.

"No, please, please don't. Please."

She heard herself whimper and hated herself for it.

His hand now closed around her throat, shaking her while cutting off her air supply.

"Did I give you permission to speak, bitch?" he asked in her ear while his other hand tried to rip her panties off.

It's then that Regina gathered all her strength she had left, lifted her head and bit him in the ear. He howled and tried to get away from her, but she didn't let go. She could taste blood in her mouth, felt it trickling down her chin and she felt victorious for a single moment.

But then his left swung at her, hitting her directly in her right eye and she let go. He scrambled away, a hand on his ear.

She thought that this is it, now he'd kill her. She loathed going out that way, as his victim, not as hero or villain. No dramatic finale while saving the day. Instead she would be here, in her destroyed study, trampled like a cockroach. Then she thought of Henry and prayed that he wouldn't be the one to find her body.

Her sweet, sweet boy. The only solace she could find was that she knew Emma would take good care of him. He would be loved, would be safe and sound. After that she thought of regret.

Did she have any?

Yes, she did.

She regretted that she didn't give up her revenge sooner and started making amends with Snow.

She regretted that she saw Emma as an intruder, as a rival, as an enemy for so long when she could've thought of her as a friend, as someone who'd have her back. As someone who-

Leopold's voice brought her back and she wished that the last thing she saw wouldn't be him.

"I'd end your miserable life now, but you're not even worth that." He snarled before he spit on her.

Regina turned her head but her right eye had swollen so much that she couldn't see him but she heard his heavy footsteps retreating.

Heard how the glass crunched beneath his weight and thought that she, too, felt like that.

She lay like that for what felt like an eternity before she was sure he was gone and wouldn't come back.

With great effort she lifted her head, eyeing her phone that still lay under the bookcase. It was less than ten feet away but it could've very well been a thousand.

She couldn't walk, let alone stand up so she tried crawling. But her right arm couldn't support her weight and buckled away while a sharp pain shot up from her wrist and spreading her legs even a little caused pain so fierce that tears shot in her eyes again.

So she dragged herself over the ground on one arm over the shards of her broken coffee table, wincing as they cut into the flesh of her stomach and thighs, again. When she was almost through she was able to reach the phone. With shaking fingers she dialed Emma.

The blonde answered after the third ring.

"R'gina? You know I had the nightshift and would be sleeping-"

"Em-ma." She managed weakly, her voice sounding like sandpaper.

"Regina?! What happened? Where are you? Are you okay?"

"No. I...I'm ho-home. I-Need you..."

She felt her vision get darker and Emma's concerned voice faded. The last thing she heard before she slipped into unconsciousness were "Hold on, I'm coming"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Thank you for all your feedback! And in case you haven't figured it out already it is kind of a slow burn SQ story, so there will be 10 more chapters or so.
> 
> As always, I'd love to hear from you.
> 
> Mwah!

 

After Regina finished her story she's crying again and Emma had pulled her into a hug. She felt the brunette's tears soaking through her shirt.

As soon as Regina is looked after and somewhere safe she's going to make her grandfather pay. A shiver ran over her at the thought that she was related to that prick.

"Regina?" she tried and softly stroked dark hair.

"Regina, we have to go now."

"What?"

"Someone needs to look at your injuries and you can't stay here, the house is a crime scene."

The mayor vehemently shook her head.

"But I don't want to press charges. You promised me no hospital."

"Okay, but you're still in shock. We need to collect evidence in case you change your mind. We _have_ _to_ go to the hospital, I'm sorry."

"I-I don't want them to know. I- and when I – then everyone will know and..."

Emma had never seen her like this. Stuttering, scared and _defeated_.

"How about this: I'll call Whale, let him know we're coming and then I'm poofing us there, so no one will see."

"Can-Can you call Doctor Huang? She-uh- knows me."

Emma looked at her incredulously. She had never spoken to a Doctor Huang, nor heard of her but if that was what would get Regina to go to the hospital then that's what they would do.

"Okay. I'll be just outside the door. One minute."

And she softly closed the bedroom door behind her, calling the hospital. They were lucky, Doctor Huang's shift had just started and when Emma told her it was a delicate situation involving the mayor she had immediately agreed to help.

When Emma came back into the bedroom Regina still sat on the bed like a statue.

"I talked to Doctor Huang, she's expecting us."

"I need something to wear, I can't go out like this." Regina whispered.

Emma didn't tell her that she would have to strip at the hospital in two minutes anyways and that the blanket did a good job in covering her.

Instead, she snapped her fingers and white smoke engulfed Regina for a moment. Now she was wearing a loose dark t-shirt with wide gray jogging pants.

"Thank you."

"Not for that. Come on, let's get you out of here."

Emma carefully put an arm around the queen, in case the transporting made her dizzy and with a quiet _poof_ she got them to the hospital.

They landed on the second floor, just like Doctor Huang had suggested.

The woman was already waiting for them. She couldn't have been older than fifty and her long black hair was formed to a bun at the base of her neck.

To her credit she didn't bat an eye when she saw Regina and just opened the door to a room on her left. Emma was about to stay outside but Regina refused to let go of her hand.

"Please, don't leave."

Emma nodded reassuringly. "I'm not."

The Doctor helped Regina undress and slip into a hospital gown before she took out a camera and began meticulously documenting every single one of Regina's injuries. She measured the mark on her neck where Emma could already make out the shape of a hand.

She wiped his blood from the brunette's chin and put it in a plastic bag for evidence. She cleaned Regina's nails and bagged the dried blood and dead skin cells she found there, too.

Only then did she treat Regina's lighter wounds with alcohol pads, Band-Aids and butterfly bandages and stitched the deeper ones.

Emma held her hand through all of it and averted her eyes every time Regina wasn't decent.

When it was time for Regina to get x-rayed Emma promised to stay right there until they came back. She violated hospital rule and called her father, asking him to pick Henry up from school. He knew that something was going on but Emma didn't tell and he didn't press her, only promised to take care of his grandson until she arrived.

Then she had time to think. The first time since Regina's call.

It had all been her fault. She had brought that evil back into Regina's life. She should've seen it before, how different the brunette had acted. But she had truly thought it was because Leopold had driven a wedge in the still fragile friendship Regina had built with Snow.

She even contemplated calling Robin Hood but she didn't know what was going on between these two at the moment, so she decided against doing anything before talking to Regina.

Doctor Huang finally brought Regina back an eternity later and took her to the last room on the hallway, away from prying eyes.

The brunette looked almost as pale as the sheets, her swollen eye had changed from purple to blue and her arm was in a splint now.

The Doctor motioned for Emma to join her outside.

"I'll keep her here until the evening, maybe overnight we'll see. I understand it was our supposedly late King Leopold who is responsible."

Emma frowned. "How would you know?"

"It wouldn't be the first time I've stitched the queen back together after his majesty had used her as a personal punching bag."

"What?!"

Emma was flabbergasted. This woman had known. How many people had known and no one had done anything to help her, to get her out of there and away from him?

"I was her assigned midwife and nurse when she became queen." the doctor explained.

Emma clenched her teeth. "What else did he do to her?"

Doctor Huang shook her head.

"I'm not betraying my patient's confidence. You'll have to ask her that herself. But I strongly suggest that you don't do that now, she's been through enough already."

"You don't say."

Emma grumbled before stepping back into the patient room.

"What did she say?" Regina asked with a raspy voice.

She was feeling a little bit better, the painkillers the doctor gave her started to kick in.

Emma let herself fall on the visitor chair with a huff.

"You can go home tonight or tomorrow, she wasn't sure yet."

Regina nodded slightly. "Okay. And what now?"

Emma looked at the other mother of her son. She looked little in that bed and lost. She realized that not knowing what to do probably didn't happen a lot to Regina Mills. She sighed.

"My Dad is picking up Henry from school. I will pick him up and drive him to you. Then I'll go back to your place and uh, collect evidence and stuff. How does that sound?"

"Good. Emma?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell Snow okay?"

Emma frowned. "Don't tell her you're hurt or who did it?"

"Second one."

"Why?"

The brunette smiled sadly.

"She loves him dearly and I have taken so much from her already. I don't want to take that away from her too."

"You sure about that?" she asked.

"Yes."

Emma nodded.

She really didn't like it, but it wasn't her choice to make.

"You know that nothing he said to you was the truth right?" she said before she knew the words were out of her mouth, but she had to say it.

Tears shown in chocolate eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"You're not worthless, Regina. You never were and you are not now."

Emma was never known for saying the right things at the right time. She was a klutz, always a foot in her mouth, but as she looked at Regina she saw that this time she had said exactly the right thing. A tear had escaped and rolled down a bruised cheek, but Regina attempted a smile, a sincere one.

"Thank you, Emma."

Emma didn't say a word and instead stood up from her chair. She walked over to Regina and before thinking twice she placed a soft kiss on the top of the brunette's head. She didn't know where all of that was coming from but she found that she didn't want to take it back. Why should she? The only thing that was making sense in her head right now was taking care of Regina, so that was exactly what she would do. 

"I'm getting our son now. Are you going to be okay on your own for a little while?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah, go on."

Emma smiled back at her. "I'll be back soon, promise."

And with that she was out of the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back with another update! Thank you all for sticking with this story. Little side note: I don’t have any idea how hospitals work and no medical knowledge whatsoever, so I took some creative license, so my story would work.
> 
> I’d love to hear from you guys again,
> 
> Mwah!

Henry was already impatiently waiting for her when Emma showed up at the apartment.

"Ma! Is something wrong? Grandpa was acting strange, what happened?"

David shrugged his shoulders at his daughter, mouthing 'sorry'. Henry was a very bright kid, no wonder he figured it out.

Emma sat them both down on the couch, searching for the right words.

"Henry, the thing is- your mom, she-"

The boys eye grew wide with fear.

"My mom? Is she okay?! What happened?"

"She's been attacked. She's at the hospital right now. But it's going to be okay, Henry. She's going to be okay."

"Can I see her? Please?"

Emma nodded. "Of course, I'm taking you there now."

He was up in an instant.

"I'll get my jacket and my bag."

David turned to his daughter, worry evident in his face, but Emma stopped him before he could ask.

"She doesn't want to press charges right now, but she knows who's responsible. And no, I'm not telling you who, she doesn't want anyone to know. In fact she doesn't want anyone to know it happened at all."

She sighed, less than pleased with the brunette's wishes.

He nodded. "How can I help?"

"Where's Mary-Margaret?"

"She's out with Neal and Leopold. Should I call her?"

Leopold.

That prick had almost killed Regina and had the nerve to parade around town like a picture perfect family with his daughter and his grandkid.

There it was again, that word. Grandfather. Emma's blood boiled at the mere mention of that asshole's name.

She had to count to ten in her head before answering.

"No, no, it's okay. Just tell her when she comes back, okay?"

Her father nodded again.

"Will do. Tell Regina…tell her if there's anything I can do, I'm happy to help."

Emma smiled at that. They had been on such a good path before. Maybe one day they would find back there again. She hoped it was some day soon.

"Ma, I'm ready let's go!"

Henry shouted from the door.

* * *

They were walking to Regina's room when Emma pulled Henry aside before entering.

"Kid, just one thing before we go in there. Uh, you mom…it looks a little scary but she's going to be okay. And she's probably in a bit of pain, so careful alright, kiddo?"

Henry nodded solemnly, trying to keep his composure but she saw tears glistening in his eyes. A pang shot through her heart. He was still just a little boy and he had almost lost his mom today. Again.

She plastered on a tight smile.

"Go on in."

Her son opened the door and froze for a second upon seeing his mother.

A sob left his throat. "Momma!"

"Henry"

To Emma it sounded almost like a prayer.

He ran to Regina's bedside but stopped short, thinking of what Emma told him.

His eyes traveled over his mother's visible injuries, but she smiled at him and opened her arms.

"Come here."

That was all the invitation he needed to throw himself into her arms, his head buried in her hair, holding her fiercely.

And Regina held on just as tight, silent tears were running down her cheeks for the umpteenth time that day.

After they pulled apart, Henry still clung to his mother's hand that wasn't in a splint.

"Does it hurt?"

Regina seemed to contemplate for a second.

"A little." She confessed.

Emma was fairly sure it was more than a little but she let it slide.

"What happened?" Henry wanted to know.

Regina locked eyes with Emma, the question evident in her eyes.

"The details are not important right now, kid. The person who hurt your mom is going to be held responsible for that, I promise."

She shared another meaningful look with Regina who cast her eyes downward.

Emma continued.

"What's important is for Regina to get better. I have to go, but you can stay with your mom, maybe do some homework or something?"

Their son nodded. "Of course, I'll stay."

Emma was already halfway out the door when she turned back.

"Oh, and Henry? This situation here-" she gestured vaguely around the room, "Is top secret. Understood?"

"So it's like, another secret mission?"

Emma nodded. "Something like that, yeah."

"I'll call it Operation Hummingbird, then"

It was Regina who chuckled and asked "Why Hummingbird, Henry?"

"Because they're awesome. They can move their wings so fast that they can fly backwards, sideways and they can hover in the air!" Their boy explained animatedly.

"Did Snow teach you about birds again?" his brunette mother asked exasperated.

Emma couldn't help but laugh as her boy grinned and for a moment everything felt ridiculously normal.

* * *

Emma sighed as she re-entered the mayoral mansion.

Once again she took in the trail of destruction the former king had caused and that all too familiar anger bubbled up inside her again. She tried to shake it off and began her work.

She photographed everything, bagged what was left of Regina's clothes and took various blood samples.

After everything was done she felt she couldn't very well let Regina return to a house in such a state. She debated with herself whether she should use magic or not, but opted against it, feeling as it may help her anger subside. And maybe she felt like she needed the physical labor to cleanse herself of the guilt she still felt.

So she picked up a few trash bags, a broom and various cleaning utensils from Regina's closet and began her task for the next couple of hours.

After she was done there was no sign that anything had happened here at all. Only several vases and the coffee table were missing.

That wasn't too bad, they could always buy them new, Emma thought.

Her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID.

"Henry?"

"Hi, Ma. Uh, Doctor Huang was just checking in and she thought that mom was good to go home for tonight. That there has to be an adult with her for the next twelve hours, though."

"Okay, I'm on my way to pick you guys up. See you in a few."

* * *

It was easier than she thought, convincing Regina that Emma would stay the night. Then again, the brunette had one hell of a day and was in no mood to argue.

Emma helped Regina out of the car while Henry ran ahead to open the door for them. The mayor was walking a bit stiff but otherwise didn't let on that anything was wrong.

They seated her on her usual spot in the kitchen while Henry and Emma began preparing dinner.

Regina watched them both work with trepidation, actually wincing when she saw how Emma cut a tomato.

"I never thought I'd say this, but Emma, for the love of God, just use your magic" She gasped as Emma nearly cut her finger in half for the third time.

* * *

Dinner was a quiet affair. The three of them were each lost in their own thoughts.

Henry was thinking that he probably should practice his sword fighting skills with his grandpa, so if it came to it, he could protect his family, too.

Emma mulled about how to move on from now. On the one hand, she wanted to be there for Regina, to help her get better. On the other hand she had this need, this urge, to punish the man who did this to Regina. And she was angry with herself that no matter what they did, how many times they saved the day it was always Regina who seemed to get hurt the most.

Regina herself was trying to sort through all the emotions running through her system. To her surprise they weren't about the king, well a few were but her main focus was the blonde sitting to her left.

They went to bed soon, everyone eager to let this horrific day end as soon as possible.

* * *

"Regina, do you have like an air mattress or something?" The blonde asked as she put away the last cleaned plate.

"I have a perfectly good guest bedroom, Emma."

Regina answered, folding the towel back together very awkwardly with one hand while Emma nervously rubbed her neck.

"Yeah, the thing is, Doctor Huang said she'd release you into my custody for the next twelve hours and that I should watch you. So I kind of have to be where you are."

Regina sighed.

"Alright then. But I'm not letting you sleep on the floor."

A slight blush crept up her cheeks. "Would it be okay with you if we shared the bed?"

Emma was baffled. She hadn't expected Regina to give up so easily, let alone make that kind of proposal.

"I-uh-sure. Yeah, no problem."

She wasn't really sure about that though.

* * *

"Hey, stop that. The doctor said no stretching or heavy lifting."

Emma admonished, as she came into Regina's bedroom and saw the brunette searching the top shelf of her wardrobe.

"It's a nightshirt Emma, it's not heavy."

Regina answered a little breathy, pulling a folded gray nightshirt out.

"But you're stretching."

Emma complained again, throwing the bedding she had retrieved from the guest bedroom onto the master bed.

"Let me help you."

"I am perfectly capable of dressing myself."

"Regina." Emma sighed. "Please."

"Fine." Regina said and handed Emma her shirt.

The second time in one hour Emma was surprised how easily Regina gave up. But as long as it was to the brunette's benefit, Emma wouldn't complain.

So she carefully hooked her fingers in the waistband of the jogging pants Regina was still wearing and delicately pulled them down, revealing bruised and cut olive toned legs. When Regina had stepped out of her pants Emma stood up again and pulled off Regina's shirt. She was focusing entirely on the splint as to not hurt the brunette. A part of her really, really wanted to peek but she knew it wasn't fair. So she bit the inside of her cheek and looked away.

When she had helped Regina put her nightshirt on, she heard a quiet "thank you." It was almost scary how intimate the whole encounter had been, despite the fact that nothing had really happened.

"I'm gonna go change now, okay?" Emma asked, surprised how hoarse her voice sounded.

She fled to the en suite bathroom, changed and did her evening routine.

When she came back, Regina was already sitting on her bed; eerily similar to the way she had sat there just after the attack this morning.

"Could you take this off now please?"

Regina asked, holding up her arm with the leather cuff, making no other move. Even her voice sounded almost as broken as hours before.

The blonde didn't think it would do any harm, quite the contrary actually. Hopefully Regina wouldn't feel that exposed anymore, that vulnerable. So what if her magic was mostly dark?

"Uh, sure, if that's what you want."

Emma carefully pried the leather clasp open and upon hearing Regina gasp she guessed it had worked.

"You okay?" she asked tentatively.

Regina's eyelids fluttered open again.

"Yes." She breathed, before crawling ungracefully under the covers.

Emma looked at her for a moment before following her lead. They lay like that, staring at the ceiling, for a while.

"You cleaned." Regina stated then.

"Huh?"

"You cleaned the study and the foyer."

"Uh. Yeah. I-I thought you'd like everything tidy when you returned."

"That was very nice of you, Emma, you didn't have to do that."

Emma huffed.

"As if I would let you clean _that._ "

"I think you and I had our fair share of wiping away our own blood. So thank you."

Emma nodded, touched by the brunette's admission, but before she could answer Regina took in a deep breath and uttered:

"And I wanted to apologize for shutting you out. You know after your trip to the past."

"What?"

"I felt betrayed and hurt and when that happens I tend to blame the wrong people for my feelings…and I was afraid that everything would change again with _him_ here. I should have talked to you about that."

"I should have fought more for you."

Emma whispered.

"We both should've done a lot of things differently."

Regina acknowledged. Emma nodded. Regina turned to look at her, a very serious expression on her face.

"Thank you for being there for me today."

And Emma's answer was just as serious:

"I'll always be."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so what did you think of the winter finale?
> 
> Regina in a prince-outfit waking Emma up from her wish, but totally no homo right?^^
> 
> Anyways, thank you all for your feedback, I love to hear from you guys.
> 
> Mwah!
> 
> Special trigger warning for this chapter: Mentions of marital rape and abuse.

 

* * *

 

Emma was glad when morning finally arrived.

Not because she didn't like sleeping next to Regina, no, but because neither of them got much sleep that night. Despite the pain killers, the brunette had had violent nightmares and Emma had to wake her up at least four times to save her from her own mind.

Emma was also glad about the coffee the brunette had placed in front of her on the kitchen counter.

She still had trouble moving, Emma could see in the tense way she held herself upright. But Regina was also quite stubborn and when she had her mind set on making breakfast there was no way of persuading her otherwise. That and the fact that Emma knew how cathartic cooking was for the other woman.

It was still fairly early and Henry wouldn't be awake for a while, so Emma thought now might be a good time as any to get some answers to the question that wouldn't leave her mind that night. She waited until Regina sat beside her with her own cup of coffee.

"Regina, can I ask you a question?"

"I believe you already did." The brunette smirked.

"I'm being serious."

"Alright. Go on."

"What did he do to you?"

Regina's face became stoic, her voice cool and Emma was reminded of the aloof mayor she met when she first came to town.

"I believe I already told you that in detail."

Emma shook her head.

"Not yesterday. I mean what did he do before?"

Regina swallowed hard, before licking her suddenly dry lips.

"I don't like pity, Emma. And I don't – This already changed so much, revealed so many things I'd rather…"

Emma took Regina's hand that lay on the counter.

"I get it okay? You wanted to choose whom to let in and when. And now you just had to and that's not fair."

Regina sighed deeply.

"Why? Why do you want to know so badly?"

"Do you remember what I asked you the first time I was in your office?"

Regina sighed. "I believe your exact word were 'you have no soul. How in hell did you get like this?'"

"Yeah. I asked but I never wanted to know the actual answer. Now I want to know, I need to know what my _grandfather_ did to you, so I can make this right again. Please."

Regina nodded before exhaling softly.

"As you know by now, my mother wasn't a loving woman, she wanted to have power and for me to become queen. Did your mother tell you how we met?"

Emma nodded.

"You saved her from a runaway horse when she was ten"

"Indeed. My mother made that horse go wild so I would have to save the princess. So the king would visit and he did. He proposed to me right away. I was seventeen. I didn't want to, I wanted a life with Daniel, but my mother- she accepted on my behalf. And she killed Daniel so I wouldn't have a choice.  
And after the wedding…it was awful. He had always been kind to everyone on the outside, spoilt Snow to no end; but me…He never bothered to ask my consent with anything. The wedding night- I- I honestly can't remember much of that…I have never felt so _dirty_ in my whole life, never felt so _worthless._ That was how he made me feel everyday. In the public eye he didn't look at me much, but when he closed those doors he-became a monster. I pleaded, I begged for him to stop but he never listened. After a while the nights all blurred together. I was crying and he was on top of me—forcing himself inside me—beating me for everything he thought I had done wrong."

She angrily wiped away a tear that had escaped her.

Emma wanted nothing more than to comfort the distraught woman but she knew she had to let Regina finish her story. After all, she was the one who wanted to hear it in the first place.

"I wanted to die. But I didn't. My thirst for revenge kept me going, Rumple made sure of that. Snow had just turned eighteen when Sidney came along and with him the perfect opportunity. I had him kill the king with venom. He suffocated in his bed, just like I did for eight years. I- I thought I was finally free and when he showed up in the diner I-"

She took a deep breath.

"It was like I was that little girl again. Just like yesterday. I guess that's my punishment for everything I've done"

"Bullshit. You didn't do anything to deserve this."

"I did. I _am_ the Evil Queen."

"Yeah you _were_. He and your mother and Gold made sure of that. You didn't commit a crime to be sentenced to eight years of hell. Or 25. You were a child and they ripped you apart. They should be ashamed of themselves, not you. And how many people have seen what he did to you? What any of them did? And no one helped you. You didn't get a fairy godmother or a lamp with three wishes. You got nothing. And yet they call _you_ evil!"

Regina was deeply moved by Emma's words. How long had she wished for someone to see her, to understand her, to just listen and to take her side? But she also knew that she had done many horrible things in the past as well. At some point she had accepted her role in the story and even relished in it. And she needed Emma to understand that. It was an alluring idea, that someone would know her, actually know her, everything she did and still choose to her, still like her.

"It was the way this world worked, Emma. Many people there had arranged marriages with all that came with that and a tough childhood. But _I_ was the one that turned into the Evil Queen."

"That doesn't make it less wrong." The blonde insisted.

Regina wanted to answer, but their son chose that moment trample down the stairs.

Both women took the few seconds until Henry came into the kitchen to calm themselves somewhat.

"Morning, Moms."

"Good morning, sweetheart." "Morning, kid." They said simultaneously.

Henry gave each of them a peck on the cheek.

He helped himself to a stack of pancakes Regina had stored in the oven for warmth keeping, before asking:

"So what are we doing today?"

"We do nothing. You go to school."

He pouted. "But I want to stay with you guys"

He didn't need to say that he didn't want to leave Regina alone again so soon. Emma could emphasize.

Both women shared a look.

"Do you still have to write that paper for your history class?"

Regina asked. Henry nodded.

"Good, then you can stay home _just this once_ but you'll finish your paper. Okay?"

He smiled. "Okay. But I might need some help with that." he admitted a little sheepishly.

Regina didn't know if that was the truth or not. But she found that she didn't care. Her son wanted to spend time with her and she would do anything for that. Including a history paper.

* * *

 

A while later Emma drove back to her parents' apartment.

She had left Regina and Henry brooding over history books and various drafts of his paper. They had decided that Emma would stay at the Mills household for at least until Regina could move again fully and the thought of being away from the brunette didn't cause Emma's heart to drop to her stomach. It was a little scary for Emma just how protective she was over Regina. But she guessed it would be a lot better if King Leopold didn't merrily traipse around town anymore.

Emma had no desire to see either of her parents right now, so she planned to just swiftly grab her stuff and be gone again, before any of them realized that she had been there.

She didn't even think about the possibility that she would see _him_ there, too.

Which was precisely what happened.

As soon as she had opened the door her mother was already rushing towards her, little Neal in her arms.

"Emma! I'm so glad to see you. David told me about what happened yesterday. How is Regina?"

Emma looked from her mother with her big eyes and her never fading optimism to _him_. He sat on the sofa, watching Emma, seemingly not a care in the world. The blonde heard her blood rushing in her ears. She clenched and unclenched her fists several times before being able to answer. And even then it was more of a hiss through gritted teeth.

"Peachy." Emma replied, sarcasm dripping off the single word.

Snow frowned.

"Emma, what is going on? I am merely asking. Am I not allowed to be concerned for Regina?"

And with that the savior exploded. "Your concern comes about fifty years too late!"

She turned to Leopold.

"And you!" she spat. "I _saved_ you from those bandits! I took you with me!"

He grinned coolly up at her.

"What has gotten into you, Emma?"

"You bastard! YOU hurt her!"

"I don't know what you are talking about"

Emma punched him in the face without a warning. He stumbled a few steps backward, holding a hand to his face. She smirked when she saw blood spilling out of his nose and dripping down on the carpet.

"Emma!" Snow gasped. "Stop this immediately! What are you thinking?!"

But the savior only looked at her mother with steel in her eyes and with a whiff of white smoke she and Leopold vanished from the apartment.

* * *

 

The frantic call of her ex-nemesis reached Regina in the kitchen, preparing a snack for her son and herself; which- mind you- wasn't an easy task with only one usable hand.

"Regina!"

"Snow?"

"She has my father."

"What?"

"Emma. She took my father."

Regina stood stock-still. Emma had done _what_?

"How in…Why?"

"She came here and started screaming and then she hit him and poofed away. Regina, you have to help, please."

For a moment the Queen in her reared her head and a dark undertone seeped into her voice.

"And what makes you think I can help, dear?"

"She said something about him hurting you. Regina, you have to find her and tell her she's wrong. I'm scared she'll hurt him."

Regina's stomach flipped. That insipid woman.

"I'm scared she'll hurt _herself_." She declared, her voice hard, before adding: "I'll find her."

"Thank you, Regina."

"Snow?"

"Yes?"

"Emma wasn't wrong."

And with that she ended the call. She placed her shaking hands on the cool counter top and tried to calm her breathing and her frantic thoughts.

Emma had gone rogue and kidnapped Leopold. She had to find them and stop the blonde from ruining her relationship with her mother and make sure Emma didn't darken her heart.

But first things first.

She called Henry down and told him that Emma had gotten herself into a bit of trouble and that she would go out and help her.

Her boy looked suspicious, especially when she told him he should stay put and finish his paper. But he did as she asked. Just this once, he told himself.

* * *

 

It hadn't been difficult to track Emma down. She had left her red leather jacket and Regina had used a locator spell, which had brought her to the cannery.

Strange.

Why would Emma go there? Regina herself hadn't been here since she was abducted and tortured in those halls. She shuddered as that particular memory crossed her mind.

But she didn't hesitate for a moment before walking straight into a scene from one of her nightmares.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> With this chapter we're officially halfway through this story ;)
> 
> Thank you so much for all your lovely comments.
> 
> Mwah!
> 
> TW for mentions of marital rape, abuse

* * *

 

Regina didn't have to search for long before she found them.

She simply followed Emma's screaming voice, which echoed in the halls.

She had to suck in a breath when she spotted the blonde.

Emma was kicking Leopold who lay on the ground.

Regina felt a mixture of feelings swirling within her. Shock and fear for Emma and a fair bit delight on seeing her tormenter like that.

But when the Sherriff pulled out her gun, the brunette chose to intervene.

"Emma, don't"

Regina pleaded, her eyes searching for the green ones of Emma as she stepped out of the shadows.

The blonde had her hands clasped firmly around the metal of her gun, pointing it at her grandfather's head.

Leopold now half knelt half laid on the ground in an effort to get back on his feet, coughing blood. He had seen the guns of his son in law and granddaughter and they had explained what damage these weapons could do. So he remained silent, for now.

"R'gina? Why are you here? You should be resting! You shouldn't…you shouldn't see this!"

"Snow called me." The brunette answered truthfully, "Emma, what are _you_ doing here?"

"He doesn't deserve to be alive"

Emma growled, her eyes fixated on the man before her.

Regina swallowed the bile that rose in her throat at the idea of coming closer to the king and took a few tentative steps towards the pair, trying to focus entirely on the blonde.

"Emma, you don't need to do this. Lower the gun."

The younger woman snorted.

"What now you want to save that bastard? After everything he did to you?" Regina shook her head.

"No, I want to save _you_ "

Finally Emma looked at her. Green eyes locked on brown ones.

"What?"

"If you kill someone you darken your heart, much like your mother and I did. I don't want you to go through the same."

Suddenly Emma looked sad, so, so sad and lost.

"But- but I deserve it."

Now it was Regina's time to frown.

"What?"

"He hurt you. He hurt you and it is my fault. I brought him back and he hurt you! I hurt you!"

She screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks, the weapon in her hands shaking, but still pointed towards the king.

Regina wanted to say 'it wasn't your fault' because it _wasn't_ , but Emma thought so and technically it was true. So instead the brunette answered:

"I forgive you, Emma. You didn't know. You didn't mean for me to get hurt. You saved me, you helped me."

The blonde shook her head no.

"But he still needs to pay. And it was my mistake and I will fix it."

She unclasped the safety hook with a click.

Regina took two more steps and was now only a few steps away from them. Maybe another three or four and she could take the gun out of Emma's hands. But that did mean getting even closer to Leopold, which was impossible for her at this point. And she didn't trust her magic right now, either. Magic was emotion and Regina's emotions were all over the place at the moment.

So she opted to talk some sense back into the blonde.

"But he does pay, Emma. I killed him, remember?"

"That's not enough. He didn't suffer enough. Not the way you did. It's not fair."

"No, it isn't. Life hasn't been fair to either of us, Emma, now has it?"

"And that's it? Life isn't fair so you just move on and hold out the other cheek?! Where is the woman who burned down villages in her wrath to get revenge?" Regina smiled at Emma. A sincere, even though a bittersweet smile.

"You helped me get rid of her. And I want to say that it doesn't matter anymore, that _he_ doesn't matter anymore, because he does. Because I am hurting and I want to not care about him or think about him ever again but I do. And a part of me would really like to grab that gun and shoot him. See him dead. But a bigger part of me wants to see you happy and safe and _light_. Don't go dark because of him or me. Gold said to me before that time is going to fix itself and he is going to die in a few weeks either way. Probably slowly and not heroic or kingly or whatever he so much desired. He is going to die like the old man he is and you and me, we'll _live_."

The gun shook in Emma's hand.

Leopold spat out some blood and breathed in.

"But a part of me will always live on. In my darling daughter and her daughter and even in your bastard you call a son. Every time you will look at his face and see me in him. You may live but you will never forget me."

"Shut up!" Emma spat.

The king sat up now, malice gleaming in his eyes.

"So brave, so loyal, a true descendant of my family. But you are most certainly misbehaved, child."

"Emma, don't listen to him." The brunette implored.

"She was like that too, when I got her." He indicated Regina with a movement of his head.

'Got her' Emma thought distant. Like a thing, a possession, an object, something without a will, feelings or a soul.

The king continued and Emma couldn't do a thing but listen.

"A silly, naïve girl, but with the beauty of a woman. She looked a little like her mother did at that age, only...softer. Snow adored her and I knew she was the one I wanted. I had already had every girl in my palace and she looked…delightful."

He licked his lips and his gaze wandered over to Regina whose whole body was trembling now. It was her stubbornness, her sheer power of will that made her stay upright, that made her stay here, period.

Emma didn't want to hear it, but she couldn't bring herself to shut him up either. So she just stood there, cursing him and herself.

"You can imagine my disappointment at our wedding night. One could mean any girl would shudder with passion at the mere prospect of pleasing her husband, not to mention king. But this worthless creature with her dry, dead pussy only ever cried. Cried and screamed and begged me to stop. So I punished her. For not bearing a child, for crying, for not being like my beloved Eva. At some point I found that I quite…enjoyed her suffering and when you brought me here and I learned of what she would do to me, what she had already done, I thought a proper punishment was in order."

He grinned up at Emma.

Regina was white as a ghost, shaking and clutching her midsection like she would fall apart if she didn't. Maybe she actually would, she wasn't sure anymore at this point. She knew she couldn't take this anymore, couldn't be here with him, listening to his vile words. She wanted to tell Emma to let it go, to lower the gun and leave with her, but she couldn't. She couldn't do a single thing.

Emma felt sick. And cold. And then she realized that he was right. She was a part of him. Maybe that was why she was even standing here right now.

"So go on, kill me. Snow will never forgive you. Or her. And no one will believe you anyway."

Emma clenched her teeth took one step forward, pressing the cold metal viciously against the king's forehead. If there was a part of him in her then she was already dark, rotten to the core. Then it all didn't matter anymore. She would end this now. Only a twitch of her finger, it would only take a second and…

"Emma."

She heard Regina whimper and looked up.

Regina's whole body was shaking and tears were openly streaming down her face. She looked like she would break into a thousand pieces every second.

"Please, don't do this to me, I need you."

Finally something in Emma switched and she snapped out of her fury-induced haze.

She pulled away from the man her mother called Daddy, and hit him over the head with the barrel of her gun.

He fell to the ground with a thud, unconscious and bleeding. Good.

Quickly the blonde made the last few remaining steps towards the mother of her son, wrapping her securely in her arms. Carefully she sank to her knees, pulling the brunette with her.

Emma had made a terrible mistake.

She had lost sight of what was really important: Regina.

"I'm here. I'm right here." She cooed.

* * *

Emma was still holding Regina close to her, shielding the still unconscious King from her view.

After everything that she's been through it was the least Emma could do.

Her gun lay forgotten beside her on the concrete.

She hadn't known what to come over her.

No. She had exactly known.

Something inside her had just snapped. Like someone had pulled a switch. One moment everything was OK and the next she had messed up big-time.

She had failed Regina more than once and after she had learned who that man was and what he had done a red hot anger had bubbled up inside her only to morph into a different kind, one that was cold and dark and all-consuming.

She felt it flowing slowly in her veins, pumping through her heart clouding her vision or maybe making her see clearer and sharper than ever before.

It was gone now, retreating back into a far corner of her mind, at least Emma hoped so.

But since it had been there once what would prevent it from coming back? Maybe the answer to that question was closer than she's thought, literally. Because Emma knew in her heart that she would've pulled that trigger, but she didn't because Regina hadn't let her do it. Because even if it would have been the best solution for her; her abuser, her nightmare gone forever this time for good and the cause of him coming back, the cause of so much misery in her life would've been responsible, would have got knocked off her pedestal, would have to face everything they once wrapped in Regina's face: Emma: pure, light, savior, wasn't so light and pure after all. Because Regina said she needed Emma, more than she needed her revenge.

* * *

It took Snow and David over half an hour until they found them in the cannery. They had driven around town themselves, trying to find Emma and had stumbled upon Regina's Benz at the docks at some point.

When they came running in, Emma looked up and couldn't decide who looked more shocked, her mother or her father.

Snow meanwhile couldn't believe her eyes.

Regina, the poised queen and tough mayor, huddled up close to Emma's chest, who had her arms wrapped securely around her small frame. She looked like she had been crying for a while, her lips still trembling, her eyes bloodshot.

She looked at Emma.

Her daughter had cried, too. But what shocked her most was the look in forest green eyes. Something that looked entirely too similar to how Regina had looked at Snow when they were still enemies.

Then she saw her father lying on the ground, his chest steady rising and falling, but with his eyes closed and blood trickling from his forehead.

She didn't know where to run to first but Charming solved that dilemma when he started running towards their daughter.

He stopped a step away from the pair on the ground and crouched down. Regina tried to sit up a bit, but didn't move away from Emma whose arm remained protectively on her shoulders.

"Are you two okay?"

Regina answered hoarsely, "Yes." At the same time Emma said a defiant "No."

Charming looked from one to the other. He wasn't sure how to proceed.

"How can I help?"

"Keep him away from us. I don't care how. Just-"

David nodded. He had no idea what happened, or what to believe but his daughter just accepted his help and he would be damned if he didn't do as she asked.

Snow had been doting on her father, who still hadn't woken up. Now she, too, was looking at them.

"Emma, what happened?"

Emma and Regina looked at each other and chestnut eyes pleaded with green ones.

"Not now." Emma said, helping Regina stand up.

"I'll tell you later, we have to get home."

Snow was flabbergasted.

"What? You can't just leave now! Emma, I want to know what happened here!"

"I almost killed him. I almost killed your father and I don't know if I'm glad that Regina stopped me!"

The blonde burst out, her voice echoed loudly in the cannery.

"Come on," Charming said quietly, while guiding Emma and Regina slowly away from Snow and the king

"I'll drive you two back home to your son"


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I have a little early Christmas present for you ;)
> 
> I'm hoping I'll manage to update sometime between Christmas and New Years. And it's going to be a longer chapter as well, promise.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I wish you happy holidays!
> 
> Mwah!

* * *

… _That evening…_

Emma and Regina were sitting on the couch in the living room, staring blankly at the wall with a blanket draped over the both of them.

Henry was upstairs and both knew they owed him an explanation. Preferably sooner rather than later.

Emma had done everything she could think of. She had made tea for the both of them even though she never drank tea. She had made dinner for Henry, because neither of the two women were particularly hungry. She hadn't talked to Regina much, though, the brunette had been very quiet and Emma found that she couldn't take that anymore.

"I'm sorry." Emma broke their silence.

When Regina didn't react, she continued:

"I'm sorry I put you through all of this. It was selfish and unfair."

"I was so mad at you, Emma." Regina finally responded.

The blonde hung her head in shame and whispered:

"I know."

"No, you don't! You were on the brink of destroying your family with your anger. You let yourself be – like me!"

Regina burst out, turning to face the blonde, clearly frustrated.

"I- what?"

"That was what I did! I lashed out and I hurt a lot of people and my heart got dark and I lost Henry because of that over and over and over again."

The blonde looked at her with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry." she repeated again, "I just – I am human okay? I make mistakes, huge ones actually. And this whole savior thing, this good or bad mentality is just…It's so stupid. I am just as screwed up as-" she stopped herself, glancing almost sheepishly at the brunette, who lifted an eyebrow.

"Screwed up like me?" She asked.

Emma nodded.

"Yeah. I mean I'm not better than you or others. Why do I have to be the Savior?"

Regina sighed.

Damn, why couldn't they have had this talk over a year ago? They could've spared themselves a lot of problems. Mostly Regina-being-pissed-at-Emma-and-lashing-out-uncontrollably kind of problems.

"You don't have to. All you have to be is Emma. Just her."

Suddenly the younger woman looked so vulnerable and her voice was shaking while she whispered:

"What if no one likes just Emma?"

For all her bravado and tough attitude, Emma was still craving affection. Acceptance. There was more of a lost girl in her than Regina had thought. And maybe she and Emma were more alike than she'd like to admit.

Regina brushed a strand of golden locks behind the woman's ear.

"That is not possible. Take it from someone who has tried her best to hate you. You're infuriating, stubborn and always charge head first into everything. Oh, and your taste in food, clothes and cars is horrible."

They both chuckled before Regina grew serious again:

"You're so smart, strong and kind, Emma. You always put everyone else before yourself and you stand up for what you believe in. I don't see how anyone could look at you and not see that."

The blonde sniffed and wiped away a few tears that had made their way down her cheek. Leave it to Regina to reduce her to tears. But the brunette wasn't done.

"And you won't ever have to worry about being alone ever again. Henry and your parents won't ever let you go again, no matter what you do."

And then Emma asked the question Regina had wanted to avoid, because she was almost afraid to answer it.

"And you?"

It wasn't more than a whisper and as Regina stared into green eyes that held so much fear and hope at the same time she knew she couldn't lie to Emma, or herself anymore.

"I couldn't leave you even if I tried. We're family now, Emma, come what may."

Emma gazed into hazel eyes and nodded once. After a while she continued:

"But no one really knows me. You've come closest, but I don't think anyone really truly knows me. And I am scared that if they do they turn away from me. Even you."

"Try me."

"What?"

"Tell me what it is that makes you so afraid and I promise you, I won't leave. I don't trust people lightly, but I do trust you. So now you have to trust me, too."

There was a moment where Emma looked at the floor, contemplating how to articulate her thoughts.

"I-I'm not light."

"Okay."

"Back before I came to Storybrooke I wasn't really a hero-like person. I liked when my targets ran away, when I had a reason to beat them up. I wasn't like Snow, I didn't help every stranger I saw, didn't give change to the homeless, I just pretended I didn't see it like everyone else."

"Emma, I am hardly the one to judge when it comes to violence or selfishness." Regina interjected when Emma had stopped talking. 

The blonde nodded but didn't otherwise acknowledge the words.

"I lied. Well, I omitted the truth, since I came to Storybrooke. Everyone just glossed over the person I was and I never told."

"That you have darkness in you too?"

"Yes, but that wasn't what I meant."

"Just tell me, it's okay."

Emma looked like she may burst into tears again.

"I'm gay."

Regina just observed her for a second and Emma hastily continued.

"Or bi. Or queer or whatever I'm not even sure anymore. I like women. And I don't know how that issue was handled in the Enchanted Forest and I was scared that-that"

Now tears freely fell down from green eyes.

"Oh, Emma." Regina sighed and pulled her into a somewhat awkward hug, because they were still sitting on the couch, facing each other.

"It's okay. That's perfectly fine."

"Is it?" Emma asked, challenging.

Regina frowned.

"Of course it is. Alright, back in the Enchanted Forest there was some…resentment towards these issues, but we are not there anymore. And even if some of the people here still feel this way…they don't matter."

"But what about my parents? My friends? They matter to me, I can't lose them, not because of this."

"And you won't, Emma. They love and accept you. They always have and they always will. They won't abandon you…And for what it's worth I know that Snow didn't have an issue with one's sexuality."

"How could you possibly know that?" Emma asked a little annoyed.

A slight blush crept up Regina's cheeks.

"She may have, accidentally, walked in on me and Mal once, you know as your mother likes to do."

"Wait what?! You…? You and Maleficent were…"

Emma could not believe what she heard. Regina had always been gorgeous and oozed sex. Of course a lot of people found her irresistible and Emma wasn't an exception. But she hadn't dared to think about the Queen bedding women- well she had thought about it, a lot more than she'd like to admit- but she had never dared to hope it was true. Never dared to hope that there was a chance that maybe, sometime…

"Yes. Snow was about seventeen then. I had to, uh, put a forgetting spell on her, so she wouldn't tell…Before that she gave me a piece of her mind how I could do this to her father, to her family, but the fact that I had cheated on the king with a _woman_ wasn't the issue. She believes in love, Emma, however it may look like and I believe she wants you to be happy."

"Thank you" Emma murmured.

"You're very welcome."

As they nestled together even closer on the couch the two women hadn't felt so much at peace in a long time.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I present to you the last update for this year ;)
> 
> You are so lovely and every comment or favorite of yours makes me smile, so thank you for that.
> 
> I wish you all a happy new year.
> 
> Mwah!

* * *

Two weeks went by without further incidents.

Emma and Regina had sat together with their son and tried to explain everything as best as they could. Emma had to take over twice when Regina couldn't get the words out.

They left out the details, only told him enough to understand why Emma wasn't talking to her mother anymore or why neither he nor she stayed the night at his grandparents anymore. And that he was in no way to interact with the king.

Henry had been confused and shocked, but believed them and promised to do as they said.

Speaking of, Leopold had stayed at the hospital for the last week. He was getting exhausted and his body had begun to shut down again. It turned out that Rumpelstiltskin had been right, the man had already met his fate, his thread of life had already been cut almost half a century ago. You just couldn't cheat death for long.

Regina was nearly completely recovered and more than capable of being on her own again, but she never asked Emma to leave and the blonde never told her she would. Not that anyone minded

Emma moved to the guest bedroom but frequently slept in Regina's bed when the brunette was terrorized by nightmares again, which still happened frequently.

They didn't talk about it and neither did they talk about how Regina flinched when someone came too close too fast or the fact that no one locked a door in the mansion anymore. But other than that everything seemed fine.

Emma frowned as she came back into the living room, having just ended a call with her father.

Regina sat on the couch with her feet up, reading a book.

Emma lifted the brunette's legs and sat down on the couch, before pulling Regina's feet into her lap. They had unconsciously become very affectionate with one another, with Emma often holding the former queen when she cried after a nasty night terror and Regina frequently touching the blonde's arm or shoulder in passing and with the both of them sometimes waking up curled up together. Another thing they didn't speak about.

Then she just sat there, staring at the black TV screen. Regina looked up after a while and upon seeing Emma's face she closed the book and asked softly:

"He died, didn't he?"

"Yeah, an hour ago. My mother was with him."

Emma answered before turning to look at the brunette.

"How are you feeling?"

"I should be asking you that, dear."

Emma shrugged.

"I asked you first."

Regina nodded.

"Okay. I am not happy, not like I was the first time. I feel- relieved. But I also feel sad for Snow, a little. I know how hard it is to lose a parent, no matter what they have done. Your turn"

Emma sighed.

"I am glad it's over, you know? But I feel nothing. No empathy for my mother, no happiness that he is gone. I should feel something right?"

"I'm not exactly an expert when it comes to dealing with emotions, but I don't think your lack of feelings is something to worry about."

Emma sighed again, letting her head fall back on the backrest.

"This is weird."

"What is weird?"

"Actually talking about stuff. And – and I feel like, I figured out a few things for myself, you know?"

"That is why I hated the curse."

"Huh?"

"It gave me time- time to think. And I didn't want to do that. Everything that happened in the last, well forever, I never actually worked through. Since the curse broke we were running from one catastrophe to the next and I didn't have to face my…problems."

"I get that. I've been running my whole life, up until now. And I think that maybe this thing with Mary Margaret is partly fueled by some kind of repressed issues I still have."

Regina gently nudged Emma's shoulder.

"Maybe time is good then."

"Maybe"

Emma mused.

"Regina?"

"Yes?"

"Have you considered talking to Archie again?"

"I honestly don't know. It helped, during the curse and when Henry- when Henry didn't want to see me. He was the only one who was willing to listen then."

"I'm sorry, R'gina. I should have been listening."

The brunette scoffed.

"Emma, when we met I wouldn't have told you anything. And besides, it wasn't your job to listen to me, your job was to listen to our son."

Emma smiled and patted Regina on the thigh.

"I'm listening now, just so you know."

For a moment it looked like the brunette wanted to say something, but then she pressed her lips together to a small smile and simply nodded.

* * *

Two more days had passed since Leopold had died, quietly, without anyone noticing.

It was a sunny morning and Regina went to work while Emma dropped Henry off at school. She had the night shift that day and now the whole day to herself. Well at least until the two Mills' came back home.

So Emma decided to do something nice for Regina. The brunette had always complained that the drip rail was clogged and whenever it rained the dirty water ran down the pristine white walls.

So when she came back she fetched the ladder from the garage and began cleaning.

Emma was about halfway through when she heard a car pull up in the driveway. It was the sheriff's cruiser. Quickly she climbed down.

"Hi Emma." Her father greeted her with a small wave, when he got out of the car.

"Hey. Did something happen?"

David shook his head.

"No, no I was just out on patrol and I thought I'd stop by. I wanted to ask you something."

Emma sighed, but nodded.

"Go on."

"Would you come to Leopold's funeral, please?"

"No." the blonde said decisively and shook her head for emphasis.

"Emma you know it would mean a lot to her if you came"

"Oh come on, she can't stand me and she hasn't called me once since that day"

"To be fair, it is not like you called her either"

"She still doesn't believe us, does she?"

David wanted to answer but closed his mouth again. He didn't need to say anything more.

"I knew it. When she does, when she says it to my face and to Regina's that she does believe her, then we can talk."

"I understand. You think she has let you down."

Emma huffed.

"You know how often I've seen this exact kind of behavior? If one of the kids in foster care told an adult what they were going through, that they got beat up or neglected or… No one ever believed them. They all just looked the other way. And I swore myself that I would never-never ever do that."

She shook her head in disgust and repeated: "Never."

David looked at her with wide eyes.

"Okay." He finally said. "Okay. You do what you have to do, just promise me to take care of yourself alright?"

She looked at her father and gave him a small smile. "I will."

"I have to get back to the station now, see you there at eight tonight. Tell Regina I said hi"

"I will." Emma repeated and watched him as he jogged down the path back to his car.

* * *

"Emma, she is your mother. You can't stay mad at her forever."

"We'll see about that."

Emma had brought Regina lunch to her office. Originally she hadn't wanted to say something but apparently the brunette really did know when Emma was hiding something. Now Emma was sitting on the couch, Regina's kale salad sitting on her desk.

The brunette leaned back in her chair, sighing.

"She didn't know and even if she did, she was a child, what was she supposed to do?"

"I'm not-that's not the point-"

"Then what is?"

Emma sighed. "I don't know. How are you dealing with this so- healthily?"

Regina stood up and sat beside the blonde.

"I just- I don't want to be responsible for tearing your family apart."

"But you didn't do anything! He did!"

"I know. But this is my battle, Emma. My burden to bear. You don't have to fight my battles for me."

"So you don't want me to look after you? To watch your back?"

"Believe me, Emma, you're the first who ever did and I am so glad about that. But-"

She rested her hand atop Emma's.

"But can we agree to fight side by side? Together?"

Emma nodded and turned her hand so she could hold Regina's in hers.

"I would like nothing more."

After a moment she added: "I am still mad at her, though."

"You're allowed to. I just want you to now that you don't owe me to _stay_ mad at her."

"Duly noted. But I'm totally not going to that funeral either way."

Regina smiled. "Me neither."

They looked into each other's eyes until Regina tore her gaze away and fled behind the safety of her desk.

They had established a whole new level of physical and emotional intimacy and that coupled with Emma's teary revelation, Regina had to remind herself not to get too close to the ledge.

She was afraid.

Not afraid of Emma, per se, but of the idea the blonde stood for. That, maybe, there could be the possibility for Regina to have finally found someone special. Someone who watched out for her, who liked her for who she was, who challenged her, who made her grow. Someone who made her laugh and drove her mad, who knew how she liked her coffee or her tea and knew when to make what. Someone who got her special take out and brought it to her office just to make sure she ate something.

And that scared her. She knew her mother hadn't been right when she told her over and over again that "love is weakness", but maybe she hadn't been entirely wrong either. Because love meant being vulnerable to this person you love. It meant they could hurt you.

And Regina wasn't sure what she would be capable of doing if somehow that love were taken from her once more. She wasn't sure if her exhausted heart would be able to take that again.

So she prayed that Emma didn't turn out to be like everyone else or that she could stop herself from falling for this woman.

* * *

Regina felt a little bad for not telling Emma that she was here, especially after her speech at lunch, but she also knew she had to come here alone, to close this chapter of her life once and for all.

She looked at the disturbed ground to her feet and the few flower bouquets on top of it. Her gaze traveled upwards to the simple gray stone and it's engraving.

_King Leopold I, beloved father._

She noticed there was something missing: Beloved father, but not grandfather, not husband, not ruler.

"I didn't expect to see you here" A voice said behind her back.

Regina turned her head and saw Snow, standing there in a black cloak with white roses in her hands.

"Me neither." She answered truthfully, looking down on the gravestone.

Snow gently put down the flowers on the grave.

"Then why are you here?"

"You don't want to know."

"But I do."

"I had to make sure, to see it for myself that he was…dead."

Snow flinched but didn't go away.

"Snow, I-" Regina started, turning to the younger woman.

"I didn't want this to happen." She confessed.

It was difficult, being honest, opening up to people, but Archie had told her once before that that was the way people should deal with their problems. Talking to each other instead of cursing them through realms and time. The latter was precisely what Regina would rather be doing to herself right now, than talking it out with Snow White. But she was trying to be better, no matter how much it pained her.

"You didn't want my father to die?"

Regina cringed. "No, that…That I did want. I meant- I didn't want to be your enemy again."

Snow scoffed, exasperated.

"You're not my enemy, Regina"

"No? So you don't feel like I have taken Emma and Henry from you?"

The other woman sighed and looked at her shoes.

"You're right. Sometimes it feels that way and I am not proud of that."

That was strange for Regina. Her old self would giggle gleefully upon seeing her nemesis in such distress, but now she actually wanted to comfort the woman before her. Maybe that was what happened when you found something else to live for other than revenge.

"Well, now you know how I felt when you all turned Henry against me."

Snow looked up again and had the decency to look ashamed and Regina continued:

"That feeling is hell. And I can't say I'm sorry that it turned out this way because it feels great to have someone, to have Emma on my side. For once. Especially with this…issue. What I can say is that she misses you. Believe me, I know."

"So what you are saying is that I should take the first step?"

"I am saying you should try to understand where she is coming from."

"You, you want to help me?" Snow asked incredulously.

Now it was Regina's time to sigh.

"Yes."

"Why, Regina? Why would you do this?"

"Because I want to see Emma happy. And she can't be happy without you."

Snow nodded, but didn't say anything. After a while, Regina started to move past her, but the younger woman stopped her.

"Regina wait. I – I don't want to think about him like that. He was my father. I loved him."

The older woman scowled.

"I loved my mother too." She said dryly, "The love we have for people can't and doesn't excuse their actions."

"I know. I know, I just- It was all so clear to me. You were either good or bad and nothing in between. And my father, he was good."

"To you." Regina added.

Again Snow nodded.

"Yes. And-" She closed her eyes, "And he was horrible to you."

Regina was glad the pixie-haired woman couldn't see the tear that had escaped her. She quickly wiped it away.

That meant a lot to her; Snow acknowledging her pain. Finally.

"I am sorry"

Snow looked Regina in the eyes as she said those three words.

The brunette swallowed. Snow had taken a step, no a leap in her direction, she had to take one too.

"You don't need to apologize. It wasn't your fault, no matter how much I had thought that, before."

"But I do. I liked my role in our story. I liked being right and good and a hero. And that only worked with you being the villain. I could've thought about that, at some point. I could have put two and two together. But I didn't want to."

They looked at each other, eyes glistening with tears.

"Thank you." Regina finally said.

"Do you-Do you think that we could, maybe, start again?"

Snow smiled. "Being friends?"

"Yeah."

"I'd like that"


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, guys!
> 
> I wish you all the best for this new year and sorry for the delay.
> 
> This chapter gets a little warning, cause Hook is in it. ;)
> 
> If you don't know by now, I love hearing your thoughts
> 
> Mwah!

* * *

The two women ate their dinner in silence.

Henry was sleeping over at a friend's house and without him as a distraction, both women found it difficult to make any kind of normal, light dinner conversation. Probably because neither one was normal, though.

"So…" Regina started, "I've been to the graveyard today"

"What? Alone? Why didn't you tell me I would've gone with you!"

Emma protested.

Regina reached over the table and lightly touched the blonde's forearm.

"This was something I needed to do alone."

Emma sighed but nodded her head in understanding, letting the brunette know she could continue with her story.

"I ran into Snow there. Or more like the other way around."

Now Emma scowled. "Regina…"

"It's okay, we talked. It was good."

"Good?"

"Yes, I think we are back on the right path."

"Hey, that's…that's good. It's good right?"

"Yeah it is."

Regina gave Emma a meaningful look.

"Oh no, I'm not making up with her."

"Emma-" Regina sighed but got interrupted by the blonde's ringing cell phone.

"Sorry" Emma murmured before answering,

"Yeah?...Dad, what's up?...oh, okay, I'm on my way over"

When she had ended the call she looked at the brunette apologetically.

"We have to discuss this another time. David needs me at the station right now."

"Of course." Regina nodded and tried to ignore the pang of disappointment in her stomach.

"I'll be back tomorrow morning for breakfast."

* * *

It was a strange feeling, being alone in her house again for the first time in almost three weeks. Normally she hated being in that huge house all by herself, but at that moment she didn't. Henry's and Emma's shoes were standing in the hallway, the living room looked like there were actually people living in there with DVD cases and books laying around and there was a ridiculous amount of blonde hair in the shower drain. Even if she was alone at the moment, she wasn't lonely anymore.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Regina froze.

'He's dead, it can't be him. He's dead, it can't be him' she reminded herself over and over again.

Quietly she made her way to the front door and used her magic to see who was on the other side.

She groaned when she saw Hook standing there, tapping his foot impatiently.

Regina opened the door and said: "Emma isn't here."

"Shocking" the pirate sassed.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well your majesty, it seems like you just can't catch the savior alone these days, mainly because she is always around you."

Regina regarded him with a cold look.

"That is mainly because she has an actual job and a son to look after. Not all of us can spend their days drinking rum and sleeping on that sorry excuse you call a ship."

He ground his teeth.

"At least I don't have to play the wounded victim so Swan will spend some time with me"

"What?"

"Oh, come on, everyone knows you've been acting strange since the king came to town. Emma brought him back and you didn't like that so you played to be hurt by Emma so she would feel guilty and dote over you."

"You're a moron."

"And you're an evil witch."

"Is there a point to this conversation or did you come to my house in the middle of the night to insult me?"

"I want you to tell Swan to move out."

Regina raised her eyebrows. What was that idiot thinking?

"What?"

"You see when we went back in time, Emma and I had a moment. And I intend to make more of that."

"You want her to move out so you can make a move on her? You're delusional."

"On the contrary, I pride myself to be an excellent strategist. And my plan has worked out so far."

He grinned at her and suddenly Regina understood.

"Oh my god. You knew who the king was, didn't you? You knew the whole time and you didn't tell her. You wanted him to move in with the Charmings so she would move out, because David would've never let you near her. You wanted her away from her family, so you could-"

"Yeah, yeah, alright. But that didn't happen because she ran to you instead."

Regina couldn't believe it. That scum was responsible for her pain in the last weeks. And all because he didn't want to accept that Emma didn't want him.

"Emma is a human being, she has a free will and if she'd wanted to be with you, she would've told you. But that is not the case so I suggest you let. It. go."

The pirate grinned.

"Uh-oh, getting quite territorial there, your majesty. If I didn't know any better I'd think you like her."

Regina tried to mask her shock at the surprisingly accurate observation the pirate had made, but Hook saw right through her.

"Seven hells. You DO like her!" He laughed, "That is so miserable, I can't believe it. As if Swan would even consider this. What could you possibly have to offer her, huh? A twisted mind and a darkened heart. A fallen queen without a kingdom, a broken soul, that's all you are. You think she wants that? You think anyone would want that? She pities you. She's just playing nice because she's the savior and a hero. And she knows you shouldn't kick a dog when she's down. Oh, excuse me, I meant a bitch."

Regina was torn between punching him in the face and ripping his heart out. How dare he?

"Get the hell away from here or I swear to god I will-"

"What? Rip my heart out? How would you explain that to your new crush?"

Before Regina knew what she was doing her magic had blasted Hook a good ten feet through the air before he landed on his back with a thud. He scrambled to his feet, shock evidently on his face.

Regina stretched herself to her full height, channeling the Queen she once was.

"Now get lost before I forget myself and crush your shriveled little heart to dust and throw your body into the sea, where no one would ever find you. Not that anyone would be looking anyways."

"You can stand there and threaten me all you want, deep down you know I'm right." he spat, turned and staggered away.

Regina slammed the door shut and leaned against it, releasing a shaky breath.

The pirate's words refused to leave her mind. She shook her head. That asshole.

She went into her study, refusing to think of what happened there and poured herself a drink.

She just wanted to stop thinking, at least for a few moments. No Leopold, no Snow, no Hook, no…Emma.

But something gnarled at her still: Her fear that he had been right.

Maybe Emma was just staying to assuage her guilt. Maybe Regina had just been the only option the blonde had to flee everyone's expectations. Maybe Regina was a bad influence on the Sherriff. After all, Emma had wanted to kill the king because of her. Maybe she was pulling her down with her. All Emma wanted was a normal life and she would never have that with Regina. It was selfish of her to want Emma, foolish to think that she could save her. She had already destroyed the blonde's family often enough, she wasn't about to do that again.

She took another gulp from her glass and winced as the liquor burned in her throat.

She didn't deserve Emma anyways. She was a bad person, a villain, the evil Queen and she was just as poisonous as her apple. She destroyed everything she touched, if she wanted to or not.

Regina drowned the rest of her glass before setting it down forcefully on the table.

That was enough.

* * *

Emma returned to the mansion early the next morning. She was in a surprisingly good mood. Granny had given her a batch of freshly baked, still warm bear claws, which she was now carrying with her.

She would make them breakfast and then when Regina was at work again she'd go back to bed. Emma nodded, she liked her plan.

Quietly she let herself in and headed straight for the kitchen. She put the pastries on the counter when she saw the note.

Hastily she grabbed it, read it, then read it again and a third time just to make sure she didn't hallucinate and then bolted up the stairs, shouting.

"Regina?! Regina, where are you?!"

The note was lying forgotten on the ground.

_Emma,_

_I am sorry. I had to leave, for a while, to clear my head. And here - here are just too many things happening at once and I feel like I can't breathe anymore._

_I know you're going to be very angry with me but please try to understand._

_I will be back, I promise._

_Tell_ Henry _I love him and I'm sorry._

_-Regina_

Emma couldn't find her in the mansion. She called Henry, but he hadn't heard from his mother either. Then she called Regina's secretary at the office and she told Emma, that the mayor had taken a few days off.

Now Emma really grew worried. So she looked all over town. The vault, Granny's, the docks, Zelena's farmhouse, she even visited Robin Hood at his camp in the woods. He told her they had chosen not to continue their relationship weeks ago and that he hadn't seen her in days.

At last, Emma had run out of places to look. Breathing heavily she leaned against her car.

It appeared that Regina was nowhere in Storybrooke. That meant she had left town. Emma chewed on her bottom lip. Regina had only ever been to Boston, where she had picked up Henry and where the both of them had occasionally spent little vacations. But the blonde's gut told her that she wouldn't find Regina there. The brunette clearly didn't want to be found and she knew that Emma knew about Boston. What else? New York maybe? After all Emma and their son had lived there for a year. At least it was worth a shot, she didn't have any better ideas anyways.

She pulled out her cell and called her mother.

"Emma, I am so glad to hear from you! I wanted to talk to you."

"Not now. Can you take Henry for a couple of days?"

"Sure, he's always welcome here, as are you, you know? But why?"

"Regina-she is gone."

"Gone? Where?"

"I don't know, maybe New York, she wrote me a stupid letter and now she is gone. I have to find her"

"I understand. Emma...Please be careful."

"You don't need to worry, I'll be fine."

"I am your mother, I will always worry about you"

Emma swallowed.

"Okay. Bye then"

* * *

She was throwing her old duffle bag in her bug when she heard someone approach her.

"Hey, Swan, finally leaving her majesty again, are you?"

Hook leaned on the hood of her car, a supposedly dashing smile directed towards her.

"I don't have time for this now, Hook"

"In such a hurry to get away from her? Not that I wouldn't understand-"

"I'm trying to find her" she hissed, slamming the car door shut.

The pirate looked annoyed.

"Seriously? She ran away? And now you want to run after her? If you knew…"

Now Emma really got angry.

"What?! If I knew what?!"

He grinned, sure that he would finally drive a wedge between the two women once and for all.

"She likes you. The way a woman should like a man."

The blonde stopped dead in her tracks.

"What?" she whispered.

He shrugged nonchalantly. "She told me so herself."

Emma recoiled. Not in a million years would Regina tell Hook anything. And suddenly it clicked.

"What. Did. You. Do?"

She barked, getting into his face.

"We merely had a conversation."

"Get lost."

"What? But, Swan, I-"

"I said get lost."

And with that Emma got into her car and drove off so fast she nearly ran Hook over. Not that she cared. She would find Regina, she swore herself, if it was the last thing she did.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> I am so sorry you had to wait that long for the new chapter!
> 
> And sorry for the cliffhanger in the last one.
> 
> I hope you still like this story and leave a comment!
> 
> Mwah!

* * *

Regina sighed deeply. She was perched on a stool in a half full bar, her second glass of whiskey stood before her on the wooden counter.

She didn't know why she came here of all places. On the other hand if even she didn't know why she was here, how could anyone else (and by that she meant Emma) find her?

She had needed time to think. During the drive here she had switched between crying and cursing. Now she only felt drained. Empty. Exhausted. Why continue this constant battle that she could never win anyways?

She was contemplating if she should leave when someone with long blonde hair and a red leather jacket sat down on the stool right next to her.

Emma didn't say a word when she let herself fall on the stool next to Regina's. The blonde took notice of the half empty Whisky glass in front of the older woman.

They remained silent until Regina began to speak, looking at her glass instead of Emma.

"How in seven hells did you find me?"

The blonde shrugged.  
  
"That's kinda what I do"

"And that is not an answer."

"Well, Henry told me that he told you basically everything from that last year. So I thought you probably were around the area of our old place."  
  
"So what you just searched every bar in New York you could find?"

"That was the plan. But this is the first one. Coincidentally it also happens to be my favorite one."

Regina sighed. "Of course, how could I have been so stupid to think I would be able to get away from all of you."

She took a sip from her whiskey.

Emma signaled the bartender. "I'll have what she's having"

Regina looked at her, clearly shocked.

"What? If you're allowed to drink so am I."

They again sat in silence. When the bartender had brought Emma her drink the blonde spoke again.

"Henry is worried about you."

When she got no reply she tried a different approach.

"Why didn't you tell me that you broke up with Robin?"

Regina huffed and looked at her.

"First, my love life is none of your business, second we weren't even really serious and third it's none of your business. How did you even find out?"

"When I couldn't find you, I asked him if he had seen you and he told me."

"Oh."

Emma eyed the brunette from the side.

"What did Hook say to you?"

"Hook?"

"Yeah, I know he came to see you and after he was there, you ran."

Regina put her glass down on the counter forcefully.

"I did not run away. And certainly not from some pirate who seems incapable of taking a shower."

"Alright."

Emma nodded, deciding to let that topic slide. For now.

"So how do you like New York?"

Regina looked surprised, but apparently decided to play along.

"Strange. It's louder than I thought and a lot bigger."

Emma nodded, before taking a sip from her glass.

"Yeah it can get a bit overwhelming, but I like it. Here you're just one of many, you can hide in this sea of people. It's easy."

"Apparently not." Regina responded dryly.

That was enough for Emma. This woman drove her mad like no one else could.

"Oh come on, did you think I would just shrug my shoulders and go on with my life if you are missing?"

"Yes, that was exactly the plan" Regina hissed, getting angry again.

"Well, though. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere" Emma announced, scowling at the infuriating brunette.

"Good thing, I am, then."

Regina spat, stood up from her seat and made her way through the bar towards the back door.

Emma groaned and slammed a bill on the bar to cover their drinks before following the other woman.

"Look, Regina, I'm not forcing you to come back home with me or anything. I just wanted to see if you were okay."

Emma said, pushing out the backdoor after the brunette, who turned around to face her.

"Then take a good look and then you can leave." She spat.

Before Emma could answer, she heard someone rummaging in a dark corner and a moment later three men staggered towards them.

"Well, I am looking and I really like what I see, don't you guys?" the tallest of them said, while the others laughed.

Emma quickly assessed the situation. Regina was standing a few feet away from her, too far to reach her, the backdoor only worked one way and the three idiots had cut off the left and right side of the alley. Right now, they were trapped.

Emma raised her arms in a defensive gesture.

"Look, guys, we don't want any trouble."

Maybe she could talk their way out of this, she just prayed that Regina would stay silent and let her handle this.

The biggest guy chuckled.

"But maybe we do" With a nod of his head in Emma's direction he ordered his friends. "Take her"

And the two men grabbed Emma by her arms and slammed her against the brick wall of the building.

"Tell those two imbeciles to let her go this instant, you moron." Regina gnarled. Emma had no doubt that if the two women had magic Regina would have the three men incinerated already.

"Or what, bitch?" Idiot # 1 growled, advancing on the brunette.

"You'll regret it."

He laughed and pointed back towards Emma.

"No, you'll regret it, because if you don't do exactly as I say my boys will squash your friend over there like a fly."

Regina shot a glance in the blonde's direction. That was all it took for Idiot #1 to close the distance and hit Regina in the face. Emma watched in horror as the brunette fell to the ground with a yelp and a second later the thug was pinning her to the ground.

That was when Regina completely freaked out. She thrashed and struggled, her nails digging into his skin, screaming "Let go of me! Let me go!"

It was clear to Emma that Regina wasn't here, she was back in some dark and horrible memory, trapped, alone and terrified.

The brunette's name left her lips before she knew it.

She screamed it over and over again, before she managed to knee Idiot #2 in the groin. He doubled over in pain and let go of her arm. She swung at Idiot #3 and her fist hit him square in the face. She took his head in her hands and pulled it down as her knee shot up again. When her kneecap crashed his nose she heard a satisfying crack. As he went to the ground she kicked him in the stomach for good measure. Idiot #2 had managed to stop howling and tried to strike Emma. She managed to dodge his swing and grabbed him by the jacket and threw him into the wall.

She swiftly turned back around to run and help Regina, but what she saw made her stop.

_Somehow_ the petite brunette had managed to roll them over, so that she was now crouching over Idiot #1, her knee pressed firmly on his ribcage. Her fists rained down on the man's face, not caring where exactly they were hitting, screaming at him: "Don't fucking touch me! Don't you dare touch me _ever_ _again_!"

Emma watched for a few moments, unable to comprehend what she was seeing, before she quickly made her way over.

"Regina? Regina. Regina! It's enough, come on. You're okay, we're both okay." She carefully laid a hand on the other woman's shoulder while speaking and when the brunette's movements ebbed away, she caught her hands in hers and carefully pulled her up to her feet again. She quickly glanced down to the man, whose face was a bloodied mess, but he was breathing.

When she looked up again she noticed Regina's eyes were red from crying and she was breathing erratically.

She gently tucked a brown strand of hair behind her ear.

"We have to get away from here now, okay?"

Regina nodded "Okay."

So Emma took Regina's bloodied hand in her own again and pulled her away. Away from these men, away from that dirty and dark alley, away from all this violence and pain.

* * *

Twenty minutes later they were in Regina's hotel room. The brunette sat on the bed, Emma right next to her. The blonde was armed with a towel and Band-Aids and was currently cleaning Regina's bruised and bloodied knuckles of her left hand.

"You don't have to do that, I could-"

"No, you have to hold that to your face." The blonde motioned to the cooling pack Regina was holding to her temple.

"By the way," Emma continued, seemingly unfazed, "You throw a mean punch, your majesty."

Regina chuckled. "Emma you do know that we literally punched each other in the face before."

Emma grinned, delicately applying the Band-Aids on Regina's olive skin.

"Yeah, good old times, right?"

Regina hummed.

"Emma?"

"Yes?"

"I am sorry for dragging you into this. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't even be here."

"And if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have felt the need to run away in the first place"

"What?"

Emma drew in a deep breath, ignoring how her heart hammered in her chest. "Regina, do you have feelings for me?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> I am so, so very sorry! I didn't mean to abandon this story for this long, but my personal life was a mess. Alas, here I am again with another update if you'd have me. :)
> 
> There will only be one more chapter after this one and will be uploaded shortly.
> 
> Mwah!

* * *

" _Regina, do you have feelings for me?"_

Emma watched the brunette intently. Brown eyes blew open, a hundred different emotion swirling in them like a hurricane and her mouth dropped open in shock.

"I-What?"

"Do you have feelings for me?" Emma repeated, more confident than she was. Actually she was terrified. But she needed Regina to say it, needed to

Regina abruptly stood up and walked to the other side of the small room. She needed to bring some physical distance between them, she already couldn't think clear and Emma being this close didn't help.

"I'm not- I don't have feelings for you." She finally managed to say, although her voice was shaking a little.

Emma stood up and walked towards Regina.

"Regina, I can tell when you're lying, you know that"

The brunette shook her head while tears formed in her eyes."I can't- I can't have feelings for you! I'm damaged…broken and you deserve so much better than me. I would only pull you deeper down with me."

"I can't- I can't have feelings for you! I'm damaged…broken and you deserve so much better than me. I would only pull you deeper down with me."

"It doesn't matter if you deserve me or if I deserve you or not. The only question that matters is 'do you want me and do I want you?'. And I want you." Emma stated.

She was surprised how brave she was being. Then again it shouldn't surprise her that much, after all, Regina had always made her stronger. With her, she just couldn't give up.

The brunette frantically shook her head. "No, no you can't."

A chuckle escaped the blonde, because it was just like Regina to try and demand things she had no control over.

"I can't want you? Why?"

"Because everyone I ever loved suffered! Daniel, my parents, Snow, Henry…I'm poisonous."

"I'll take my chances."

"What?"

"I don't believe loving you comes at a cost, but even if it did-I'm okay with that."

Regina looked up and her eyes searched for something in Emma's green ones.

"I-I'm afraid."

Regina admitted, her hands running through her hair to release some of the nervous energy.

"I'm afraid of going there, of letting myself be happy. Because, if that is taken away from me- I – I couldn't take it. I'm scared of what I might do, what I might become…again."

Emma took another step forward.

"You are never becoming her again. You've changed. You are stronger now. You can't live your life being scared, Regina."

Maybe Emma was right, the brunette thought. Maybe they were different. Maybe she finally would get a break. Did she dare to hope that? Dare to believe it to be true?

With one step she closed the distance between them and kissed Emma. The blonde immediately responded, her arms circling around Regina's hips, pulling her closer. The brunette's hands cupped Emma's face and her lips were impossibly softer than Emma could have imagined.

A grin spread across each of their faces, making it impossible to continue the kiss. Emma rested her forehead against Regina's, not ready to let go of her just yet and she wasn't sure that she ever would be.

"How are you so calm about all of this?" Regina whispered, not making a single motion.

Emma chuckled. "I'm not. I am freaking out, but one of us has to keep their shit together and I guess this time it's me."

Regina rolled her eyes, still grinning. "Idiot."

"Yours?" Emma asked, her tone light but the implication clear and serious.

Regina bit her lip and nodded. "Yes, for as long as you like"

* * *

The next morning, Emma awoke, because something was tickling her nose.

She opened her eyes and realized that they had shifted during the night and she was now spooning Regina, one arm draped over her midsection and her head buried in brown hair. She breathed in and Regina's scent filled her lungs. For the first time she noticed how small Regina was. Tiny, actually. She fit perfectly into Emma's arms, her cold feet pulled up to Emma's shins, searching warmth, her nose buried deep into the pillow. She never thought she would use 'cute' as a word to describe Regina but right now, there wasn't a word that fit better.

Then she felt the woman stir.

"Morning."

Emma whispered.

Carefully Regina turned around, her eyes blinking to adjust to the morning light streaming through the small window.

"Good morning."

"I have an idea." Emma said.

"Oh no." Regina groaned, letting her head fall back onto the pillow, but she couldn't hide her smile.  
Emma mock-pouted before she continued.

"I was thinking I could show you New York a bit. Cause it is a pretty awesome city if you have the right tour guide. You've come all this way, I don't see why we shouldn't make the best of it. And we can drive home tomorrow. If you want to, that is."

"Brilliant idea, my dear." Regina replied. She had called Emma 'my dear'. Regina used dear frequently, often to mock the other person as Emma was painfully aware of, but never like this, she had never heard Regina say ' _my_ dear'. She referred to Henry as 'my little prince' but he was the only one that Regina referred to as hers. Until now, Emma thought and her grin only widened.

* * *

A day later they sat in their respective cars and drove back to Maine. Regina was tailing Emma's yellow bug and thought back to the day before. It was one of the happiest days Regina had had in a long time.

Emma had taken her on a tour through the city, showing her all the different skyscrapers and the statue of liberty. The blonde had convinced her to eat a hotdog for lunch and laughed when Emma spilled mustard on her shirt. Then she showed her the school Henry had been attending the last year, their spot in the park they always visited and their old apartment building. All the while the blonde told her stories Henry had left out.

They ate dinner at Emma's favorite restaurant before walking back to their hotel where Emma called her mother to tell her they would be coming home the next day.

Which was what they were doing right now.

Coming home.

They drove up to Snow and Charming's apartment where the pair already stood outside with Henry by their side and Baby Neal in a stroller.

"Moms! You're back!" Their boy lunged himself into their arms, the three of them relishing in the hug. When they parted Regina gave a nod to both David and Snow.

Emma gave her father a quick, one armed hug and gave her mother a small, but not insincere smile.

She had already forgiven her mother, she knew that deep down. But she also knew they would never see eye to eye on this.

Emma had thought about why it was so hard for her to let go of that anger for Snow. Of course she had been livid that it was Regina of all people who got hurt again. Regina, the young girl who saved a small child from a runaway horse. Regina, the wife of a monster. Regina, a pawn in Rumplestiltskin's game. Regina, the Evil Queen, who had been as dark as it got, who had done unspeakable things in the name of revenge and hurt. Regina, the small town mayor and single mother, trying to do right by her boy. For some reason it had not been difficult to see Regina as all of that. As a human being, not a character out of a storybook. An amazing human being she was hopelessly in love with, as she now knew.

But partly her anger was also caused because her mother had always prided herself and her family to be the good guys, the heroes. Coming from that fairytale world Emma understood why Snow was thinking like this.

She was scared that this meant that her parents would abandon her if they found out that Emma wasn't and couldn't be like that.

Because she had been in the real world and there were no such things as the 'good' guys. There were just people, some of whom trying their best to be good and others who didn't.

"Emma?" her mother tentatively took a step towards her.

"Would you come over tomorrow, so we could…talk? Maybe sometime in the late morning?"

The blonde could feel all eyes on her. They weren't in a storybook anymore. They were in a real world with real, flawed people. Staring into her mother's pleading ones, she nodded. "Yeah, sounds good. I'll be there."

 

Then the two women and their son drove back to Mifflin Street. Emma and Regina had decided to tell Henry right away that they were now dating. None of the two wanted to sneak around and keep that from their boy. Emma knew Regina would do everything for Henry (as would she, by the way) and Emma was scared what would happen if Henry didn't approve of the two of them being together. If he wanted them to separate, would Regina do that?

Currently, Emma and Regina were standing behind the kitchen counter with Henry sitting on the opposite side of them.

Regina drew in a deep breath.

"So, Henry, your mother and I need to tell you something."

"Please don't tell me I have another relative destroying the town"

Emma grimaced. "No, kid, don't worry, it's not something bad…I think"

Regina shot her a look that said _Really, Miss Swan?_

"What Emma meant to say is that we have good news. While we were in New York Emma and I talked a lot and figured certain things out…things that…I hope you'll find positive as well. You see…"

Now it was Emma's turn to roll her eyes. Even though it was kind of funny to see Regina scrambling for words she was too anxious to really enjoy it. So she decided to face the problem head first.

"Kid, your mom and I are together."

"Like in together together?" he asked scrunching up his face.

"Yes, like that."

"Cool!"

"Cool? Don't you like...ya know- have questions and stuff?" Emma asked, completely bewildered.

"Not really, no."

"Why?"

"Uh, duh. Because you are my moms and I love you guys. Plus now we can all spend the holidays together and stuff, right? Just don't… be like _gross_ around me or anything, okay?"

Regina let out a relieved laugh.

"That we can do, my dear."

"I make no promises" Emma snickered, before pulling Regina in her arms, dipping her and kissing her soundly.

Henry quickly put a hand over his eyes. "Ew, that's exactly what I meant."

* * *

The next morning Emma was sitting in her parents' kitchen, waiting for her mother.

"Oh, Emma, you're already here! I was just at Granny's I got us hot cocoa. I know you like hers better than mine, so…"

Emma tried to smile. Her mother was trying so hard to make this right again, at least Emma could appreciate her efforts.

"Where are Dad and Neal?" she asked to have at least said something.

Snow smiled as she put the two cups on the counter.

"They have gone for a little walk, I thought we just talked alone, you know, mother to daughter."

Oh god. This was going to be fun.

"Al-right" Emma answered, albeit a little unsure of how to proceed.

Her mother, on the other hand, dropped on the stool in front of the counter and instantly began talking:

"Emma, please, tell me what I have to do for you to forgive me. I'll do it, anything."

"I'm not- I don't want an apology. Not anymore. I did some bad stuff too, with your dad, I-" but Snow didn't let her finish.

"You were confused and weren't thinking. That wasn't you, I know that."

Emma groaned frustrated, pacing back and forth.

"But that's the thing. It _was_ me. Not a part I'm proud of, but a part of me did that."

She stopped her pacing and let herself fall back on a stool, cupping her hot cocoa mug in her hands. This was draining. Emma was trying, she really was. But she realized that between constant battling villains and saving the town they never figured out how to talk to each other. In a crisis, sure, there was a rapport and it was working, but besides that, she had no idea how to talk to either of her parents. She sighed and drank from her cocoa.

Snow looked at her with a frown, clearly having trouble understanding her daughter.

"I don't understand, Emma. I am trying, but I don't-Emma? Emma!"

But the blonde couldn't hear her. First the inside of her mouth went numb and then her whole body and a second later she fell off the stool onto the floor, unconscious.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sidenote: so sorry. This time for the cliffhanger ;)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everyone!
> 
> I present you the last chapter for this story.
> 
> Thank you all so much for sticking with it and all of your kind, kind words.
> 
> Maybe we'll see each other on another story ;)
> 
> Until then,
> 
> Mwah!

* * *

"Where is she?"

Regina immediately asked, after David had opened the door. She and Henry were breathing heavily, both looking a little disheveled, probably from sprinting up the stairs in record time.

"Couch in the living room" David said, but Regina was already past him and had spotted the mass of golden locks that hung over the armrest of the sofa.

"Emma." She breathed and fell to her knees in front of the Sherriff's lifeless looking form.

At that moment Snow came out of the adjoining room.

"Regina, thank god you're here. I called Gold and he is on his way over as we speak."

It took everything in Regina to tear her eyes away from her…lover?...girlfriend? What exactly was the exact term here? She wondered for a brief moment, before finally looking at Snow.

"You called Rumple?"

"Figured he was a better option than Blue." Her face grew red as she added:

"And he and you are the experts on this kind of curse."

Something in Regina bristled at those words but she refused to let that distract her from the important matter on hand: Emma.

"What exactly happened?"

"We were talking and then she took a sip from her cocoa and then she just blacked out."

"Cocoa?" Regina asked again and David handed her the take out cup wordlessly.

"Granny's?" Henry asked, his brooding expression reminded Regina so much of Emma in that moment it hurt.

She sniffed at the liquid that still remained in the cup before waving a softly purple glowing hand over it.

"Hm. Yes that does look like a sleeping curse."

"Bravo, your majesty." 

Rumple mocked as he appeared in the apartment with a whiff of smoke and an impish grin on his face.

Regina just glared at him, in absolutely no mood for his games. Worry was gnawing at her, slowly morphing into fear. What if they didn't manage to wake Emma up? She couldn't do this without Emma. Raising Henry. Being a hero. Dealing with her demons. None of it.

"Do you have anything productive to contribute or did you just come here to enjoy the show?" she snarled.

"Actually, I have very important information for you."

"Name your price." David said, crossing his arms.

But Rumple didn't even spare him a glance, he had his eyes trained on Regina.

"Since I am a newly-wed and a reformed man, I'll give it to you for free."

"Tell us."

Snow demanded, more regal than Regina had ever seen her. She almost smiled at that. Almost.

"Yesterday I did an inventory of my possessions and found a sleeping potion was missing."

"Someone stole a potion from you and maybe god knows what else and you didn't tell us?!"

David yelled, but Gold didn't seem fazed in the slightest and continued:

"If I were you, I'd look for the people who had access to that cocoa over there"

Snow frowned.

"I brought that with me, and one for myself. I was chatting with Ruby, no one was there except – Killian."

Of course, Regina thought, it seemed just like that prick to meddle with a woman's beverage.

"But why?" David mused.

Regina sighed. They were still just as slow as before.

"Because he wants to prove that he is Emma's true love."

"What?!" Snow and Charming shouted in unison.

Gold smirked. "I bet he is only waiting for your call to help you rescue the princess."

"Well, the only thing he is getting is my fist in his face" Charming growled. Regina could emphasize.

"But how can we help my mom?" Henry chimed in.

Again, Gold looked at Regina.

"There is only one way to break a sleeping curse, Henry."

Suddenly the boy was excited. "Then I can wake her."

And before anyone could say anything Henry was softly kissing his blonde mother on the cheek.

They all waited with baited breath but nothing happened. Henry turned around, tears in his eyes.

"Why didn't it work? Doesn't she love me anymore?"

"Because sleeping curses are tricky. There are hundred different versions of it and the pirate took one that was quite specific."

Dread filled Regina's stomach. Why was there always a catch to everything?

"Spit it out, Gold" She barked, unable to control the hurricane of emotions raging inside her.

"It needs to be her romantic true love, otherwise it won't work."

Regina gulped. Oh no.

Snow let out a sob. "But we don't know who that is or if Emma even has that! She never said anything. Maybe she found a guy in New York or god knows where!"

Rumple shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, I suggest you start looking then."

And with a wave of his hand he dissolved into smoke again, but not before shooting Regina a knowing look.

David went over to his wife and pulled her into his arms.

"We'll figure it out." He whispered.

Regina looked at them. And then at Emma, with Henry still perched up on the couch next to her.

"Mom?" He asked softly.

Regina knew what he was asking.

Could it be? Could it really be that simple? And that complicated? She loved Emma and Emma loved her so why did the thought of trying to kiss the blonde awake scare her so much?

Her self-doubt had an answer for her:

What if she wasn't Emma's true love and it had been Hook after all? Or someone else entirely? Surely then Emma would want to be with them. And where would that leave her? Heartbroken and miserable, again.

What if no one could wake Emma? Then Henry would lose his mother so short after having lost his father too. And Regina would have lost another love, again.

And what if it did work? Would Emma feel trapped with her now that they were bound by fate? Emma didn't like being caged. What if she realized that Regina would be pulling her down with her?

The brunette felt sick to her stomach and she really wanted to talk to Emma right now. Emma knew how to make her feel better, how to make her braver.

She looked at the peacefully sleeping woman in question.

What if it all went wrong?

And a small voice in her head supplied 'what if it all went right?'

Unconsciously the brunette walked over to the sofa.

_You can't live your life being scared, Regina_ she heard Emma's soft whisper in her mind.

Henry had managed to make Emma believe in magic. Then Emma began believing in Regina, just like she now did in Emma. And more importantly, Emma helped her believe in herself again.

Maybe now it was time for her to believe in them.

She gave Henry a quick assuring smile before bending down and brushing her lips gently against Emma's. For an excruciating long moment nothing happened, but then a familiar burst of rainbow colors pulsated through the room and the blonde opened her eyes, taking a deep breath. Regina was still only inches away from Emma's face and when brown eyes met sparkling green ones, Regina smiled.

"Hi." She whispered, her voice heavy with emotion.

"Hey." Emma replied, taking in the sight of the brunette in front of her.

Their moment was cut short when Henry burst out "Ma, you're awake!" And threw himself into both his mothers' arms.

"You did it. You woke her up." Snow whispered in awe.

Emma carefully untangled herself from her two favorite people in the world, but kept on holding Regina's hand, her thumb softly caressing it's back. She wasn't ready to let go of her just now. Right now, she needed to know she wasn't alone in this.

"You knew?" her mother asked her.

Emma nodded.

"I love her and I am so happy she loves me back."

She looked at their intertwined hands before looking back up to her parents.

"This is important to me. It's a part of who I am and I don't want to lock that away."

Snow carefully looked at her daughter and wondered why she hadn't seen it before. They fit so perfectly together. And it was so poetic as well. Emma, the Savior, saving the 'Evil' Queen, the one that needed saving the most. And Snow, who was (at least partly) responsible for taking away Regina's first chance at a happy ending, was now able to give her that chance back, in form of her daughter and grandson.

"Emma, that is wonderful." Snow said, taking Emma's other hand in hers.

The blonde looked shocked from Snow to Charming and back.

"So, you're okay with this?"

"Emma, you're our daughter and we love you and accept you no matter what." David said.

"And if Regina is the one that makes you happy, we're happy."

Green eyes welled up with tears as Emma looked back and forth between her parents. Finally Regina gave the blonde a little nudge and Emma stepped towards the pair and let them engulf her in a hug.

Henry came to stand in Emma's place, next to his brunette mother, who gently laid an arm on his shoulders.

Still sandwiched between her parents Emma looked back to the brunette.

Their gazes found each other in the midst of it and brown eyes glinted with mirth.

"Told you so" Regina mouthed.

* * *

With a sharp intake of breath Regina awoke in the middle of the night. She blinked, her eyes still adjusting to the darkness. Her heart was still hammering inside her ribcage. Even though, they have become fewer and farther in between Regina still had nightmares of that day almost a month ago now.

She looked to her right and saw Emma slumbering peacefully right next to her. Well, a lot had changed in that month. She was getting better, but she also knew it would take a lot of time to work through everything that had happened in the last years.

Regina quietly got up and made her way downstairs into the kitchen. She never could go to sleep again after one of her nightmares.

So she made herself a cup of hot cocoa with a dash of cinnamon she only drank to feel more grounded. Her family made her always feel that way.

She was just looking out the window into the dark, when she heard soft footsteps approaching.

"Hey. Couldn't sleep?" Emma mumbled and gave the older woman a small kiss on the back of her neck. Regina laid her head back so it was resting on Emma's cheek.

"Hm." She sighed and felt Emma nodding. She didn't need to elaborate why and Regina was thankful for that.

"Did I wake you?" she asked, still facing the window instead of the blonde.

"Not technically, you know I can always feel when you're not next to me." While talking, Emma's arms circled Regina's waist, pulling her closer.

The brunette chuckled. She had never thought that Emma craved physical closeness like this, but she had soon found out that her girlfriend was quite the cuddler.

"Why didn't you wake me?" the blonde almost pouted, "You know you don't have to be alone with this."

"I could never forget that. Sometimes I just want to _be_. Right here, right now. To feel that and not think about anything."

"Can I just be with you then?"

They both looked at each other through the reflection in the window.

Emma would've gone dark for Regina and Regina well she was trying to stay light for Emma.

It wasn't perfect, they weren't perfect, but they didn't have to be.

Black and white had clashed forcefully together, melding into gray and changing, evolving and shattering Emma's worldview of absolutes.

It was OK.

It was OK not to be a pristine white. It didn't matter that she had a few darker spots on her.

Emma now knew she didn't need to be perfect to be loved and accepted; she just needed to be herself: A mixture of a multitude of colors swirling together into a perfectly imperfect gray.

And Regina had learned that the darkness wasn't the end.

That even darkness fades if you let enough light in.

It didn't matter how long it took for her to get here.

She had been in the darkness for almost her whole life. Pushed in, poured down on her and stepped into it willingly. Now, finally stepping out of it again, the light almost blinded her. And it scared her. It made her want to crawl back into the comforting blackness, where nothing was at stake because she was already on the bottom. But she didn't.

She didn't because crawling back- hiding- wasn't who she was anymore.

She would fight it, she would fight for her happiness, for them and she would fight for herself. And she knew she wouldn't have to do it alone. Emma would be right there, standing next to her.

Regina chuckled low in her throat before answering:

"You're always with me."

 

-Fin


End file.
